Perfectionism… In Daily Life
I’m a perfectionist. And I don’t care what you think about me.
I really hate it when everything didn’t go according to plan. You know how tight I was when it comes to planning, especially if I’m aiming to accomplish whatever plans you have for that day. So I always make sure that it happens in my favor, otherwise, I’m gonna fly off the handle and switch from a nice guy to a rude critic in a second. You know how terrible I can get when I’m mad.
I’m pretty sure some of you are feeling the same, since you can be either demanding or have high standards when it comes to a variety of things, like services and/or products. Anyway, we all deserve something better, yet we don’t always get what we want. And it’s really frustrating.
Being the cranky person I was, I tend to raise my eyebrows when something goes wrong or they couldn’t provide me with anything I need. If I want to work on my attitude, then they must work hard on providing a better/excellent service to [un]satisfied consumers/customers like me.
No matter how we try to do things perfectly, there are some flaws. For starters, there are some unexpected problems that may keep you from accomplishing a certain goal, especially under pressure. There are complications and difficulties in the process that can frustrate some people, not to mention that they always pay attention to the little details that they just keep on repeating the same task or process until they got it right.
For example, you are writing an article or a short story, something that requires editing for the sake of your observant readers. As you write some parts of the article or the story, you tend to edit some of the sentences or paragraphs just to make it look like it is professionally written. I tend to be like that at times, and that’s one of the reasons why it took me long enough to finish an article or a story. It’s just that I wanted to write something as it is, yet I always check what I’ve written for some unnoticeable mistakes. That’s how perfectionist I was, I can’t let some flaws showing up on a finished product.
In daily life, you wanted to make sure that you have everything in hand like you must have the necessary ingredients needed to prepare a certain dish. If this didn’t come out good, then I’ll be disappointed. If I have one thing missing, then I’ll be disappointed. You see, I just want things to go smoothly without any problems.
Anyway, so here are some things that you can apply your perfectionism on:
- Household chores–The cleaner, the better.
- Cooking dishes–Depending on your preference, as long as it’s good.
- Art projects–It’s purely aesthetic, to begin with, so a good presentation is a must.
- Designs–Same as above.
- Providing quality service(s) to consumers/customers–We deserve better.
- Infrastructure projects–Some people don’t just settle for simple or badly-executed designs, they want anything more than just functionality.
- Transportation–With the hellish traffic in Manila, we deserve a better way to get around the metropolis without a hassle. Never mind the transportation fare, not everyone cares about how expensive it will get for as long as they can get to their destination faster.
- Your writings–As mentioned earlier, it’s for the sake of your observant readers.
- Your outfits–If it doesn’t look good on you, don’t bother wearing it.
- Everything you bought, in-store or online–Quality matters, especially if it’s a premium/expensive product. Definitely worth the price.
- Scheduled tasks/plans–If it doesn’t go as expected, there’s the frustration of having to change plans at the last minute, which is definitely not my thing.
- Your personal choices–Your personal taste rules, as well as your choices. They can recommend a lot of stuff but the choice is always yours… and you can assert your inner critic in you if they keep pushing you to take their word for it.
And there’s a lot more. It’ll be too much to write about, so that should do for now.
Being a perfectionist in daily life may sound like having a demanding attitude towards everything. In the end, we deserve better. Don’t get me wrong on the “demanding” part. I mean we are all entitled to that kind of attitude, as long as you do it in a nice manner.
In regards to our expectations, we always make sure that we’re doing things as perfectly as possible. But there will always be inconsistencies and errors in the process. Yes, we can always proclaim that we’re perfect in some way… but really, nobody’s perfect.
Something To Be Disappointed About
We do get disappointed for a lot of reasons. We’re all expected to, especially when things go wrong with ourselves, with others, and with all the things that are happening in the world.
The word disappoint is traced to the Middle English disappointen by way of the Old French desapointer.^ In literal meaning, it is to remove from office. Its use in the sense of general frustration traces to the late 15th century, and it first appears recorded in English as an emotional state of dejection in the middle 18th century.
Disappointment is a subjective response related to anticipated rewards.^ It is a form of sadness—a feeling of loss, an uncomfortable space (or a painful gap) between our expectations and reality.^ It happens when something unpleasant happens, in which the feeling of happiness is replaced by a feeling of sadness or frustration.
Recovering from a disappointment varies among people, ranging from a few minutes to a few days. While we can get over our disappointment, there’s a possibility of it recurring over time with the repetition of the same unpleasant incidents that lead you to this letdown.
Broken promises, unfulfilled dreams, failures, unsatisfactory performances and actions, unfair practices, poor services… these are the things that we’re probably disappointed about. The feeling of sadness, anger, and frustration can lead to a thinking that there’s nothing we can do about it. Somehow, expressing our disappointment is the only way to let others know that there’s something wrong with the way things are.
The feeling of disappointment can affect your emotions, as well as your performance and your optimism. Just imagine how will you be able to redeem yourself when things go wrong and there are no other ways to get around this problem you’re having. You may be expecting something good with your plans, but there are times when you really need to be prepared for a sudden mishap, like an unexpected incident that will force you to change your plans at the last minute.
The feeling of disappointment isn’t limited to your own expectations or others’ actions. Sometimes, even a simple inconvenience can cause disappointment for some people too, like road traffic or some sudden cut-offs like train operations and telecommunication services. These things often come in an unexpected manner, and can even disrupt your mood.
I really hate the thought of feeling disappointed over a simple thing such as long lines or long waiting times, service interruptions, and unexpected changes. It’s just that I don’t like wasting a lot of time doing nothing while waiting for my turn or for the service(s) to go back to normal.
Well then, here are some things to be disappointed for:
- Others not meeting your standards/expectations
- Inconveniences (long lines, long waiting times, heavy traffic, bad or terrible services)
- Service interruptions
- Political issues
- Incompetent leaders, managers, and bosses
- Distasteful and controversial remarks on certain issues
- Unexpected failure(s)
- Wasting a lot of time dealing with a difficult problem
- Selfishness of others
- Other people’s attitude
- Getting scammed
- Unexpected natural phenomenon (heavy rains, thunderstorms, floods, snowstorms)
- Poor management
- Sudden changes without prior notice
Yes, we do get disappointed for some reason. It is a natural reaction to anything unpleasant or unexpected. But no matter how disappointed we are, we must never let ourselves dwell to this kind of thought for long.
Take a deep breath, relax, think of how to cope in this disappointing situation you are in. After all, you can’t afford to feel disappointed all the time.