A Certified Commoner

Times have changed. Life is never gonna be the same again.

In this one way journey, I met a lot of classmates who become friends, and later close friends. The first time I met you, it was in elementary. It was kind of exciting how I can be a part of your life. But then there were conflicts and unnecessary taunting that will force me to distance myself from the rest of the class.

I moved to another school the moment elementary school ends, leaving behind the easygoing life of a private school to a challenging reality of public school. Starting high school. excitement replaced anguish as I started over and make new friends. Over time, trouble starts but I somehow managed to get through and later graduated. The classmates I’m close with are always remembered (and will always be), while the ones I’m not close with… well, forget them. The BFF, the group of my closest classmates and acquaintance-turned-best friends, will always remain special to me.

From the challenging but partially happy high school life, I chose to stay put and stayed out of studying for a year. Finally, I decided to return and start my college life. The moment I start having fun with my classmates, I seldom think of my former classmates in elementary and what happened to them after I left them. High school classmates, I still think of them but not all. This time, I need to make the most out of college. Somehow, I failed to make an impact and that was the end. I’m an underachiever. But I finished studying.

Fourteen years in school excluding kindergarten, I wanted to ask: did I make an impact?

To be honest, I didn’t. If I did, then I don’t have to live this lonely life being myself, and hanging out with no one but myself. In addition, I shouldn’t make social media as my companion, just to rely on knowing the latest on what’s happening on the news feed and checking their profiles, thinking that they had a better life and studying in big universities and now having jobs. I, on the other hand, have trouble finding a job after resigning from my previous job as a call center agent still in training.

Expression wise, I somehow looked fine. Deep inside, I’m hurt knowing that I’m only a commoner. I hardly had any achievements, and I’m not as popular as the rest. I’m only good at expressing myself through written words and I’m not good in oral communication. That shows how I am different from the rest.

In the end, I’m still happy with myself knowing that I’m not a pretentious person (or maybe I am, but not to the extent that I’m doing this every day). I know what I can do, I know when I can achieve my own goals in life. But no matter how much I worked hard for it, if it doesn’t make an impact, then it only means one thing: I am a certified commoner.

Now I’m beginning to understand why it’s hard to be self-reliant. I failed to see the better benefits of a friendship. Sad to say, it only happens when everything’s over.

Again, times have changed. Life is never gonna be the same again.

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