Dying To End It All [E]

(E) means that this article has sensitive and/or disturbing content.

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“I didn’t want to wake up. I was having a much better time asleep. And that’s really sad. It was almost like a reverse nightmare, like when you wake up from a nightmare you’re so relieved. I woke up into a nightmare.”

Ned Vizzini, It’s Kind of a Funny Story

When you’re feeling down, you can only think of negative thoughts. Your mind is in a state of desperation and you wanted to escape from this harsh reality. Unfortunately, the only solution to this problem doesn’t have the option to go back once it’s done.

In every personal anxiety, there are stories ranging from hardships to failures. How worse can it get? Will you be able to handle it or are you intent on killing yourself just to get out of this misery?

I appreciate the desire to live as happily as it should. But everyday’s not at all sunny. There are storms. And these storms can affect the way I live my life normally.

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What’s with the slashes on the wrist? What’s with the rope? And why are you looking down the balcony? Well, you may be physically healthy, but emotionally? Having a hard time expressing yourself can trigger more than just angst, but more of self-destruction.

People tend to commit suicide due to a variety of reasons, and it’s mostly due to depression associated with bullying, academic failures, loss of loved ones, personal hardships, constant pressures at school or at work, unbearable humiliating experiences and being a loner. Even I have suicidal thoughts as well, but the desire to live my life to the fullest still reigns.

Simply put, a person’s life is fragile, especially when the mind is in a state of turmoil leading to emotional imbalance. Too much of it can be dangerous, and even the people who made you laugh are prone to depression as well. It tends to get worse until it becomes too much for a person to bear. It can change a person’s appetite, it can also make it difficult for a person to sleep due to anxiety, and it can lure you away from your usual habits such as your hobbies and interests. It can make a person go out of mind and lose sanity, leading to self-harm or self-destruction.

Seriously, I endured being bullied and being a loner for so long now, but it seems like I survived by means of the will to go on instead of slashing wrists or jumping off the building (which I never did, thankfully, not even once). So why can’t others move on after the storm as well? If only they realized how wonderful life will be, then they wouldn’t have to dwell in their depressive life full of sadness and pain.

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Just hearing the word suicide haunts me up to this day, coupled with palpitations. In fact, I tried to avoid using that word especially in the stories I’m writing (despite the fact that the stories I wrote are dark-themed and explicit). In the end, it’s important to at least remind the people how valuable life is. When you have an emotional burden, seek help or talk to someone about it. Never let depression affect you.

So, in the midst of unbearable challenges in life, always remember that life is precious… whether if it’s good or not. And, live your life to the fullest.

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