High School: A Memory Recall

They keep saying that high school life is the most memorable time of your life, but I don’t think mine is as memorable as the others. For me, it’s just plain ordinary. I feel like a commoner, easily forgotten and not fondly remembered.

Looking back, I didn’t care much about how fun or boring my life is. Most of the time, I only spend time with myself. I may have a lot of [so-called] friends, but to me, they’re temporary.

I don’t know why I feel like saying this. It’s just a mix of insecurity and angst that I experienced from time to time. Perhaps, there is something worth regretting. There’s something wrong with me. There are some remarkable moments in high school life I never get to experience. Unfortunately, there’s no going back.

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A quick summary of my high school life: My freshman year is okay, at least I’ve got some company. I even introduced a couple of my classmates to the circle, which later become the BFF. My sophomore year is not that okay, but at least I still got some company… including one of my friendliest classmates from the previous year. My junior year is much better compared to the previous [sophomore] year, and I’m always in absolute delight. And my senior year? It’s hell in disguise.

All right, here are some moments and the usual things that happened during my high school days and I believed a few of these aren’t disclosed in the first Timeline series. What are these?

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Making Friends

I know that making friends is easy, but hard to maintain by the time a school year ends or you all graduate from high school. I admit, I have a lot of friends in high school, but I have no contact with them after the high school graduation… even online. Although they occasionally send a message online asking how are you doing and exchange news about your lives, it’s still not enough.

Despite making lots of [so-called] friends, I still ended up trudging the school corridors by myself or sitting on the desk alone. I’m fine with it, in case you asked.

More Than Just Friends?

High school romance is quite common during my time, yet I’m not into that kind of relationships. Heck, I don’t even have the idea what it is like having a crush on someone. Some people would tell me how unusual I was for not having a crush, but do I really care about that?

During my freshman year in high school, there’s a charming female classmate who is quite attractive and friendly. Whenever I see her, she would smile at me. Even though she’s not my crush (she then had a boyfriend, who would become my classmate the following school year), my classmates would think otherwise. She transferred to another school in the middle of the school year but we added each other on Friendster. So much for a brief moment of being enticed by her charm.

Interests

We all have our own preferences, but there are some of them who share the same interest. Some of my classmates are into online gaming, rock music, hangouts, and, to a lesser extent, drinking. Peer pressure is the main reason why high school students are getting drawn to that sort of thing.

Yeah, my classmates are into online gaming such as Ragnarok, DOTA (Defense Of The Ancients) and so on, and they listen to various kinds of pop and rock music. I’m not into these kinds of things, hence I’m different from the rest of the class. But at least, some of us share interest in anime, yet we don’t talk about it too much.

I’m No Better Than Anyone

I didn’t join any contests, competitions, performances and clubs (were there any?) and I rarely join my classmates in group projects. Aside from that, I’m not doing well in academic studies, and I always feel bored during class. (I’ll set this aside in my future post).

Why am I not doing well in my high school life? I bet some of you know the answer. It’s partly because of my annoying classmates. Though I’m not supposed to be affected by their no-good way of bullying, I was always affected by it and I couldn’t think straight afterwards. Another reason for that is the lack of motivation to study. I know my attention span is the culprit behind my academic struggle, but I never bother to do something in order to combat my laziness in class.

I don’t know how to improve. My classmates aren’t that supportive either.

Learning Beyond The Basics

In high school, there’s algebra, geometry, chemistry, biology, world history, and economics. In addition, we also study some of the Philippine literature: Ibong Adarna, Florante At Laura, and Rizal’s novels Noli Me Tangere and El Filibusterismo.

I admit, I’m not good in science and math so I’m at a greater disadvantage here. Except for geometry, that is. I’m not good at handling laboratory equipment, but I believe I can do scientific experiments just fine. I had a hard time solving trigonometric problems. Oh well, I managed to pass despite such difficulties.

The Things I Miss, I Never Experience, And May Never Happen Again

One of the highlights of being a junior/senior year high school student is the Junior-Senior Prom. It is a major event among junior and senior high school students, and it happens around February or March. It’s a semi-formal dance where the guys wear black or white formal wear (with ties/bow ties and vests) and the girls wear evening gowns.^ Sounds like a fancy event, but I opted not to attend. And so, this is a moment I never experienced. I had a mixed feeling about making that decision though.

The school grounds… the surrounding internet cafes filled with students playing online games… the awesome people you meet in class… the occasional conversations with the BFFs and all of that… I surely do miss my high school days. But the fact that you are still troubled by a lot of annoyances and misery upon leaving high school makes it all unworthy of a remembrance.

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Let me repeat this one: I feel like a commoner, easily forgotten and not fondly remembered.

So much for remembering my high school life after witnessing the students in gowns and formal wear waiting outside the school before the Junior-Senior Prom six months ago. But then, it matters that I recall a few good (and bad) memories, just for the sake of remembrance. It’s a part of me, after all.

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