The Extremely Pessimistic Self / The Sad State Of Life [Ax2] [E]


For this double article special, it’s all about pessimism and depression. These keywords represent the darker side of life, which is the main topic of this double article post.

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The Extremely Pessimistic Self

My life is full of hesitation and misery. Of course, I proudly admit that I’m a negative person, that’s why I always see the dark side of everything. Now I feel like a lonely recluse waiting for an unexpected guest to arrive.

Despite that, I always try to look on the brighter side of things… it’s just that I couldn’t get over my miserable past. I was never confident, I always gather courage before even asking someone for anything random.

Life can be cruel sometimes. I always felt that this miserable sense of pessimism is caused by some sort of conspiracy. All right, not exactly like what I just said, but for some reason, I always look into the disadvantages of such great things in life. I was thinking that a great offer was a perfect one, at the same time I’m starting to think that I might be entangled in some serious problems later on that I’ll definitely regret accepting that offer.


I don’t know if I should be thinking twice about making decisions, but why do I always hesitate to take a risk in deciding which path should I take? I know that everything has its pros and cons, but there are a lot of disadvantages that can drastically affect the way I live.

The way I think about accepting an offer, I always make sure that I made the right decision. I’m cautious about making mistakes, perhaps the reason why I don’t act quickly without thinking. Is it really that difficult to find light in every decision I make? Perhaps, I was thinking too much.

So I keep refusing offers because it is entirely different from my expectations. Being a perfectionist I was, it’s necessary to choose your desires carefully. It’s not like I’m acting like a doubtful person who thinks that the person making an offer would do a deceptive act of tricking me into signing a contract without explaining the pros and cons.


So what makes a pessimist?^

  • Negative beliefs – Think negative, and your future is going dark. You’re assuming that the worst will happen, regardless of how promising your future will be.
  • Disappointments – You’ve experienced a lot of disappointments in life that you expect your misfortunes to continue. Whatever bad things that you experienced in the past is carried over to your future, like an extension of your past life.
  • Anxiety – Worrying too much can produce negative scenarios. Worse, you’re thinking that something bad might happen instead of hoping for a positive outcome.
  • Low self-esteem – If you don’t believe in yourself, then you might have negative thoughts about yourself. In other words, you’re bringing yourself down with that kind of thinking.
  • Depression – If you’re depressed, you tend to think negative thoughts… like it’s the end of the world. It’s difficult to imagine good things while you’re losing hope trying to snap out of depression.
  • Negative programming – Anyone and anything can affect the way you think about certain things, especially if these negative messages are repeated over and over.
  • Self-protection – Your fear prevents you from taking such great risks in order to save yourself from trouble. If you don’t try something, you’ll never proceed.
  • Guilt – If you did something bad, chances are you might fear the consequences of your actions. You might be thinking that Karma is after you, as the result of your bad deeds.


The way I see it, I might not live long if I remain pessimistic about my future. So much for my past (bad) experiences that brought me to this misery. If there’s a way to ditch that pessimistic attitude of mine in exchange for an optimistic mindset, then it’s not a bad idea to stop focusing on the disadvantages of my own decisions. After all, it’s the thought that counts. And yes, too much negative thoughts can cripple you for life.

The Sad State Of Life [E]

“Depression begins with disappointment. When disappointment festers in our soul, it leads to discouragement.”

Joyce Meyer

Life has its ups and downs. It isn’t bad to get sad at least once in a while. After all, you can’t be happy all the time.

Happiness is like sunshine, it brightens up your day. Sadness is like rainfall, it makes your day gloomy. More of comparing life to a weather. It can be unpredictable, more of unavoidable.


I recall a depressing moment when I was in fourth grade. I know that I still have company, but I feel largely ignored by my classmates. There was a time when I even started contemplating about my own death, but I managed to snap out of it. Life was miserable, even for a ten-year-old.

I know this is not the end of my lonely life back then, it continued for a couple of years. But still, how I managed to cheer myself up despite having such depressing moments in life is something I could not understand. I mean, that’s not how it’s supposed to work, right?

Near the end of second-year college, I was severely anxious about failing in an exam. For days, I couldn’t bring myself to cheer up and I feel depressed for days. I didn’t know what to do, and I wanted to blame myself for not studying hard. I managed to pass, I felt a sigh of relief. A brief moment of depression proved to be a struggle.

Probably I don’t look like it, but every now and then I still feel depressed just thinking about my future and my past frustrations in life. I don’t know, but my thoughts are getting a bit too morbid sometimes. I still contemplate about my own death, but not as much as before. I feel scared about what will happen next, I’m not prepared to deal with me slashing my wrists or something like that. Maybe I was thinking too much.

You can’t be happy all the time. Even if you’re the class clown, there’s a chance you’ll get depressed due to various reasons. Behind that smile, there’s a hint of sadness deep within.


Let’s define the word depression. It is the feeling of severe despondency and dejection. It is the state of extreme unhappiness and anxiety. You find it hard to smile, you tend to think negative thoughts, and you always think that your situation is hopeless in any way. You always think that it’s the end of the world, and you keep expressing your desire to kill yourself by any means… or worse, you did try to. It’s a serious mental illness that can interfere with your daily routine, and it can happen to anyone, young or old, of any race or ethnic group.^

What makes a person depressed^:

  • Abuse (physical, sexual or emotional)
  • Certain medications
  • Conflict
  • Death or a loss
  • Genetics
  • Major events
  • Personal problems
  • Serious illness
  • Substance abuse

If you’re constantly beaten up, sexually harassed or bullied by anyone, then chances are you might experience a great amount of anxiety, fear or trauma that can lead to depression. A death or separation of a loved one, death of a beloved pet, loss of job, divorce, etc., can cause grief, which is a natural response. Too much grief can lead to depression. Certain medications and drugs can cause mood swings, often leading to depression. A lot of terrible conflicts and too much bad news can make a person depressed. People with chronic illness tend to get depressed, especially when they think too much about their condition.

What are the symptoms of depression^:

  • Unable to concentrate, remember details and make decisions
  • Feeling lethargic
  • Feelings of hopelessness or pessimism
  • Feelings of worthlessness or helplessness
  • Overeating or loss of appetite
  • Insomnia or excessive sleeping
  • Irritability and/or restlessness
  • Loss of interest in activities or hobbies
  • Feeling sad, anxious or empty
  • Persisting aches or pains, headaches, cramps or digestive problems
  • Having suicidal tendencies

How to determine if a person is depressed?^

  • Heavy drinking and/or smoking
  • Uncontrollable addiction to shopping, gambling, sex, and internet use
  • Exaggerated emotions
  • Binge eating/obesity
  • Chronic pain


We all get depressed sometimes due to some circumstances, but don’t let it affect you, your studies/career, or your family. Depression, when left untreated, can be life threatening.

Depending on your case, some therapies might work. There are some treatments, medications and support groups that can help a person cope with depression.^ It helps that you keep doing the activities you love most, set realistic goals and try not to pressure yourself with too many tasks, and not making important decisions. Of course, your family and friends are there to support you.

If you believe that you or your loved ones are suffering from depression, it’s best to seek help immediately. If someone who’s extremely depressed is thinking of committing suicide, call your local suicide hotline or contact a mental health professional immediately.


Though pessimism and depression do match in some aspects, these keywords represent a darker side of life and are meant to be dissolved from our system. Yes, we do allow ourselves to be doubtful and sad in certain situations, but keep in mind that too much of these can be extremely dangerous to our well being. It’s not a bad idea to open up to your loved ones about the situation you’re in and seek help if necessary.