A Cynical Life [E]

NOTE: The following rant (in italics) is a product of my increased frustrations in life and are not meant to be taken seriously. This post should not raise concerns regarding my negative views about my life and my future, but rather to share what’s on my mind and perhaps give some advice on dealing with your pessimistic attitude towards life. Remember, there’s no telling when this pessimistic view of mine might change.

[@kcox105] [#twatkcox]


Sometimes, I feel like doubting my future.

I had to admit, I couldn’t grasp the fact that I’m growing old and I always believe that I’m a few years younger. Also, I believe that growing old is the worst thing that can happen to me. I hate the thought that I have to work five or six times a week and spend less time on the things that I love. Because of growing up, I lose a lot of friends due to work. A grown up life is a life full of problems and responsibilities, nothing special.

I’m already twenty-six years old (as of this writing), but I still act like an eighteen-year-old. Considering the fact that I still don’t accept the fact that I’m growing older, that should be the reason why I’m trying to look and act young, and dismissing the thought of acting like a grown-up. I don’t care if you call me immature, just let me be.

Of course, growing up means getting married and starting a family. But after witnessing the horrors of my parents’ marriage, I’m determined to close the doors on marriage for good. So don’t ask me when will I get married, because I’m not getting married. Also, I’m not interested in having a romantic relationship with anyone, so drop it.

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To be honest, there are some things not worth looking forward to. Yes, I’m referring to the ones that I mentioned early on this post. The reason why I say such things is because I’m extremely frustrated about my life in general, and I feel like I’m denied the privilege to experience the best things in life when I was young.

It really sucks when you simply can’t accept the fact that everything happens for a good reason. Well sometimes, the “good reason” is actually the opposite, and you suffer from a great deal of misfortune that is associated with the so-called “good reason”. So at times, you’re dismissing the fact that there are brighter days ahead, just because you’re having a bad day or you’re having a bad experience about certain things in life.

I hate this. Just thinking about this harsh reality makes me feel depressed… so depressed that I tend to say anything negative. I’m putting myself down in the process.

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Being cynical is being pessimistic about everything in life. You tend to see the negative side of things, even if these piqued your interest. You also tend to doubt and disregard the good intentions of others, thinking that they’re only thinking of themselves and no one else. You don’t trust them even if they do trust you a lot. You loathe anything nice and you always think of the worst possibilities in life. You’re (obviously) on the dark side.

It really pains me a lot to think that I’m a cynical being, though only on occasion. Perhaps I let my personal grudge and frustration take over my happy well-being. Like for example, on April Fool’s Day, two of my classmates from senior year in high school approached me. Apparently, these people are planning a reunion and are hoping to invite me in that so-called friendly gathering. Of course, I turned down their invitation in a straightforward manner and told them that I didn’t know who they are and I don’t trust them. Afterwards, I walked off and checked my Facebook Messenger for their reactions. To be honest, though, not all of them are bad. Well… some of them are, but I don’t trust them altogether since they’re in the same section. Who knows, I’m thinking of severing ties with them for good. Going back, regardless of how well they’ve changed over the years, they’re still the same people who made my life miserable. And now, my life is even more miserable than before.

Cynical people tend to have shorter life span^, probably due to their unhealthy behavior. Ditching optimism in favor of pessimism may have a great impact on your health, increasing the chance of getting dementia and/or heart disease.

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If you really wish to lure yourself out of cynicism, here are some tips in order to overcome your negativity.

Luring yourself out of cynicism can be difficult if you don’t understand and address your own problems. So try to understand the reason why you’re being cynical. That means you need to figure out and address the cause of your pessimism that leads to your negative thinking. Also, be aware of your cynical thoughts and ask yourself if you’re fine with it. Try to be optimistic more often, it’s not a bad idea to stray away from your cynical thoughts every once in a while. Find inspiration from positive people and look into their good qualities.^

But then again, cynicism isn’t at all bad. Just make sure that your cynicism does you anything good, like saving yourself from trouble. Otherwise, you’re doing yourself more harm than good and you’ll live a miserable, lonely life for good.

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Hard to believe, hard to accept… in the end, your cynical life is gonna hurt you more than a breakup, growing older or even death. Let’s face it, we all have our negative views in life, but that shouldn’t stop us from looking at life from a positive perspective.

Right now, I’m trying hard to lure myself out of this cynical life. I just hope that I can find someone to talk this with and train myself to be more positive.

Fantasies, In Real Life

When was the time when I feel like I was that character from an anime series, or making up my own? When was the time when I was drawing some made up characters in their unusual getup? Looks like I’ve already made up a lot of fantasies… but of course, it’s unlikely to happen, unless you go ahead and make some changes in your lifestyle, along with some makeover and all that.

Anything make believe is said to be frowned upon by some, but I don’t really care about it that much. I always thought that anything that’s on my mind is much more interesting than anything that’s part of reality. In other words, my life is much more interesting inside my head.

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It all began in third grade (about 17 years ago) and a hit anime series, Pokémon, premiered on prime time. Before, such shows are aired in the afternoons, and at times extended into the prime time slot. Friday nights are generally reserved for anime shows due to the fact that it mainly targets the young audiences (mostly students). It just happened that I was hooked to that show, which was then aired during Friday nights, and I often dreamed of waking up in a different world, similar to the one I was watching.

And then it continued during fifth grade, and this time a detective anime series, Detective Conan (also known as Case Closed in the US), aired during weekday afternoons. But I wasn’t fantasizing about being the kid detective, but rather I was having weird thoughts about something else… something mysterious. It’s difficult to explain at this point, but it’s about someone with weird experience. Totally unrelated, but that show fueled that kind of strange thoughts.

And here comes sixth grade, the time when I started making up a few characters, notably the cool looking kid with glasses (later known as the spiky haired cool kid with glasses). At first, I find it quite awkward to portray that character, until I started wearing glasses the following year. Yup, inspired by that anime series I watched three years ago, but with a different plot and not-so-childish scenes that are deemed too serious for a kid to handle. I was portraying that role (usually in my head), at times complete with a few lines and actions, done discreetly out of others’ presence. Nowadays, I do this occasionally… but only in my head.

In college, I just happen to read a baseball novel, The Make-Believe Ball Player by Alfred Slote, which is all about a kid named Henry Smith who loves playing make-believe games until he got himself into a dangerous situation, where he impersonates his dad and his baseball coach to scare away the burglars. The story ends with Henry being hailed as a hero and playing for the Sampson Park Tigers. The book itself is an interesting read, and I thought… I can be like him. Someday, maybe.

Well, if these childhood fantasies may eventually evolve into a dream-come-true situation, mine needs a lot of effort… and a lot of work. Still, I’m living the dream of being a writer, as well as creating my own identity similar to the made-up character from sixth grade. Who knows, even at twenty-six, I can achieve that look and live with it.

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Fantasies, dreams, and anything make-believe… these are common to children with a high level of imagination. Of course, they tend to overdo it at times, which can cause annoyance and/or worry from some parents, thinking that their children are talking to themselves and acting out some scenes by themselves.

So why are we fantasizing about something? What makes it quite interesting?

  • We all have our dreams and goals, but not all of them can be achieved… just yet. So in the meantime, they tend to fantasize about it.
  • We wanted to portray something, like being in that scene or acting like a popular or made-up character, usually in our minds. Something to entertain ourselves, perhaps.
  • We sometimes need to escape from reality, so we just imagine ourselves in a dreamy or pleasant situation.
  • Sometimes, we treat fantasies as a creative guide in order to achieve something, just like achieving that character’s good looks or outfit, or living that good life you’ve always dreamed of. In other words, fantasies sometimes pave way for creativity, and can help us plan for the future.^

Of course, too much of these fantasies can affect you mentally, especially when you’re mistaking fantasies for reality.^ There’s a possibility of a delusional disorder, schizophrenia or paraphilia if these fantasies go out of control.

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Living our fantasies in restraint and in our heads is one thing, mistaking fantasies for reality is another. Sometimes, I often thought of forgetting such imitative fantasies and get in touch with reality. But then, I’m not too old for such fantasies, for as long as I don’t let it go out of control.

Expressions, In Light And Dark: The Six Poems, Written By KCOX [L]

For TWATKcox’s 166th post, I’ve written six poems dealing with a range of topics, from optimism to loneliness, from good times to painful memories. The six poems written for this post are divided into two groups: the light themed poems and the dark themed poems.


LOOKING FORWARD

I always anticipate the good things in life
That I manage to cheer up for a good reason
My expectations always keep me high
That I tend to foresee anything that’s good
And disregard anything that’s bad
So much for waiting too long for this to happen
Without even realizing if it’s worth the wait
But then, my sense of optimism prevails
And I believe that it will soon happen
Without having to think of a possible disappointment
I’m looking forward to the best things in life
Enough to manage a smile and enjoy the moment

INSPIRATIONS

A reason for being
A reason to keep going
A fond memory of a certain person
Or the ones you love the most
A certain kind of motivation
A big fan of your great achievements
A supportive loved one
Rooting for your success
They’re the driving force
They’re here for you to do well
Keeping you on the edge of hopelessness
And onward to success
They’re right behind you
Pushing you to keep going
They’re the ones you always look up to
When you’re on the path to achievement

HAPPINESS IS…

Happiness is…
Meeting an old friend
Thinking of someone
Visiting a place
Recounting the good times
And embarrassing experiences
Having fun
Doing the things you love
Listening to good music
Watching favorite shows
Reading a lot of books
Going somewhere
Expressing yourself
Being creative
Discovering great things
Going on a trip
Finding peace and quiet
Celebrating your existence
Enjoying a great moment
Living a good life…
And most of all
Making everyone happy

A DARK REMEMBRANCE

A painful memory
A miserable past
A horrible incident
A psychological trauma
We all remember our own bad experiences
And we wanted to forget them
But we can’t even get them off our minds
They remain inside us
For as long as we live
We can always recall everything that happened
Witnessing the horrors of violence
And the tragic incidents
The world goes dark
You feel the chills
And you can’t snap out of it
Haunted by your thoughts
The fear of madness is taking control of you
You’re breaking down
You’re losing your sanity
And you can’t control your emotions
It’s gonna be a long, difficult journey
To get back to your usual self…
You may have recovered from this distress
You may have endured the pain you’ve been through
But these experiences will remain
A reminder of your dark past

IN BLACK AND GRAY

The darkness of black
The neutrality of gray
Together, they both match
And they share the same traits
A combination of colors
That invokes negativity
Lost in the emptiness
Colorless and lifeless

Combining these colors
Makes an emotional person
Whose life is filled
With such intense gloom
Feeling lost and indecisive
Feeling aloof and pessimistic
Is this color combination
Too much to handle?

A subdued life imagined
Wearing these two colors
That gives the impression
Of giving bad vibes
But let me tell you this
It depends on how you see it
These colors are wonderful
If they’re not used too often

THE LIFE OF AN UNHAPPY LONER

Being a loner is tough
I have no friends
I have no companions
I have no acquaintances
I hang out with no one but myself
In this tough, cruel world
There’s no one to rely on
I’m on my own, without any help
I tried to make friends
But they all turn me down
Now I can’t join them
I spend most of the days alone
By the park or in the library
At times, I feel envious
Just seeing a bunch of people
Hanging out and having fun
I feel kind of hopeless
I wanted to make friends
But I don’t know if they’ll like me
I just sat down and wonder
What will happen to me
When I grow old and all alone
Just thinking about this
Makes me feel depressed
I’m still hoping, one of these days
Someone will come up
And try to make friends with me
I don’t know, but I won’t expect
That this will happen anytime soon
Because I’ve already accepted the fact
That I’ll always be an unhappy loner
And I’ll die an unhappy loner

My Quirky Ways

You always thought of me as strange, weird, and at times awkward. Well, I don’t mind.

I feel like I’m different from the rest of the bunch, not that I refuse to be one of them. It’s just that I want to follow my own trend. And the way I act, I tend to be awkward at all times, even if I try not to act like one.

Perhaps, there’s something in my quirky personality and/or my behavior that is, well, intriguing for a normal person. That’s okay, we all have our quirky ways and it’s not that kind of creepy. I probably got used to it as I grow up. There’s no reason to be put off by my strangeness, I’m perfectly fine… except that I’m (a little/quite/entirely) different from the rest of the bunch.

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Now that you (probably) understand what it means to live an unusual life, let me share some of these facts about myself:

  • Fashion–Yes, you always see me dress differently from the rest of the bunch. I love the unconventional way of dressing up (such as wearing knee length coats and knitted vests) and adding various accessories (such as ribbons or ties) to what I usually wear in order to achieve a certain look. I always do this regardless of the fashion trends, climate and/or the people’s reactions on the way I dress. For me, fashion is an expression of who you are. In other words, “you are what you dress”.
  • Food–I love to cook, and I love to make certain modifications and additions to the recipe. Like adding pork cracklings (chicharon) to the pancit bihon or onion leeks to the creamy macaroni soup. It’s basically my preference, though there are some people who disapprove this kind of experimentation. Oh well, I’m actually planning to bake a chicken, marinated in adobo sauce and served with potatoes.
  • Places and itineraries–I generally follow a pattern of places to visit, especially along a certain route. This is done to save time and money, I’m always that efficient. Also, I always make sure that every corner of the mall is visited. I don’t know, but I usually do this out of curiosity, and then it becomes a habit. And of course, I always do this while listening to a set playlist. Some of the songs serve as a signal, like when I should be in this area or a certain place when that particular song is played.
  • Writing stories and articles–There’s no set time to write about various light topics, but there is a set time when I’m writing emotional and dark themed articles and stories. I’m not comfortable writing emotional and dark themed articles and stories in daytime and with people roaming around the house, so I generally do this at night, when everyone else is asleep.
  • Listening to music and watching anime series–Light and easy listening music generally tops the choice of music for midday to afternoon listening, while emotionally haunting music is reserved for late night listening. At times, I listen to a smooth jazz station while listening to my own playlist during Sunday nights, until 2:00 AM the next day. I sometimes listen to an upbeat or relaxing track on loop when I feel like it. Watching anime series on my smartphone while cooking dinner is more of an unusual multitasking activity, but at times I watch certain anime shows on my PC.
  • On friends and persons of interest–I always tend to be shy and awkward around my friends and classmates, and I had a hard time expressing myself properly. Just seeing some of their pictures on Facebook and Instagram gives me this strange feeling. I tend to feel awkward when I run into some of my male friends and classmates or see their (cute or embarrassing) photos, and I tend to act (a little) strange around my female friends and classmates.
  • Interests–My choice of music (usually jazz and easy listening) and shows to watch (especially anime and informative shows) sets me apart from the rest of my peers, but that doesn’t mean that they’re going to remark on how unusual I am due to my choices. To each their own.
  • Expression–I tend to be cryptic when it comes to expressing myself. Maybe it’s the fear of humiliation I’m experiencing right now or I was really the quiet person and I had a hard time expressing myself verbally.
  • Obsessions–There are some kinds of obsessions that can be perceived as weird or unusual. In this case, I love downloading some interesting fan art pictures of my favorite male characters from different anime series and use them as a PC or smartphone wallpaper. Some of these fan art pics feature the characters in their cute sleeping positions, some of them drooling. So much for the obsession, but whatever.

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Yeah, now that I share some weird facts about myself, you thought… what’s with this person, watching anime while cooking or listening to a radio station while listening to his own playlist? All right, so these are my common (weird) rituals that may seem strange to you, but something that I do anyway. Like I said, we all have our quirky ways. We just have to live with it.

i150W: Obsessions

Let’s define obsession. It’s basically a preoccupation or the domination of one’s thoughts or feelings by a persistent idea, image or desire.^ 

There are some things that we are so obsessed with. It could be a person, an item, or anything that’s worth the preoccupation. But while your mind is preoccupied with your obsessions, you tend to crave for it more than you should, up to the point where the changes in a person’s behavior become noticeable. At times it tends to get disturbing and inappropriate and may require professional help.

We all have our own obsessions in life. Whether it’s a hobby that you’re so engrossed about or collecting various things… or filling your mind with thoughts about that person, there’s always a reason for every kind of obsession. There’s nothing wrong with being obsessed about something, for as long as it’s not a product of a disturbing thought.

Goodbye, Student Life (Timeline College Series #18)

This post officially concludes the Timeline College Series. The final post for the TCS serves as a throwback to my college graduation that happened five years ago.


This chapter will soon close, yet another chapter will soon open. It’s time to move on.

Keihancarl Oikou Xiaucham (@kcox105)

It’s only a few weeks before the college graduation. We’re done with the indie film, and we’re having the final exam for European Literature. I’ve already submitted the documentation for the second OJT at PTV-4, and I somehow managed to finish the literary analysis for selected works by Yevgeny Yevtushenko and Charles Baudelaire. To be honest, I had a hard time analyzing such works, but I did it anyway.

If I recall correctly, there was a career orientation seminar and submitting the requirements for the upcoming graduation, and later the transcript of records and the diploma. Right now, I only got the transcript of records, but not the diploma and the yearbook. I don’t know, but I haven’t thought of dropping by my college as of the moment.

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The moment of achievement has finally arrived… the time when I finished college. It is certainly a life changing moment for me, for I’ll be joining thousands of fellow graduates who are struggling to get hired, struggling to support themselves (and their families) in this challenging world of uncertain futures.

A few days before the graduation, we had our graduation rehearsal inside the campus. The rehearsal also includes memorizing our graduation song, and we were expected to sing it very well. I missed the first day of the rehearsal though, but that didn’t matter. We also had our baccalaureate mass at the church closest to our college, basically a message to all of the graduates.

The college graduation was held at the Folk Arts Theater in Manila, on the 19th of April. It includes all of the graduating students from all courses, as well as graduate students taking up master’s degree. I suddenly had this bittersweet feeling now that I finished college and I’ll tentatively embark on my chosen career. This marks the end of my student life and I have to move on to the next chapter.

The day ends with a family dinner at a mall in Makati, and that concludes my college life. The next day, everything is going to be different, for I’m no longer a student but a soon-to-be young professional who’s expected to find a job, but only managed a short stint as a call center agent a year-and-a-half later.


This chapter ends, but another one opens. I’m planning to recount some events that happened after this series, in a separate post. Watch out for it soon.

i150W: Summer

It’s that time of the year when the heat of the sun is getting intense. The warm and bright sunny weather makes a perfect reason for us to head to the pool or to the beach for a swim, and to indulge ourselves in cold treats like refreshing cool drinks or ice cream.

It’s that time of the year when we take some time off from the stressful daily life and plan a summer getaway. We usually go to resorts or some scenic places in the country, or even out of the country. Wouldn’t it be nice if we get to relax, at least every once in a while?

Of course, we need to protect ourselves from the sun’s UV rays. Take lots of fluids and wear light clothing, and make sure to use sunblock when going out. Don’t forget the umbrella as well.

Remember, stay cool and have fun!

The Missing Moments Of My Life

I had a feeling that there are some things worth regretting for.

Looking back, I never had a chance to hang out with some of my so-called friends… in fact, they never let me join them in their fun activities. So that’s the reason why I’m having a hard time making friends and I’m no longer comfortable hanging out with anybody. I simply prefer to remain a loner for I grew up being like that. But then, I’m starting to worry about being a loner for the rest of my life.

I never experienced having a crush on someone, and until now I never had an interest in girls. I always thought that romantic relationships are for young adults, but it’s usually prevalent during high school and college. Some of my classmates have their crushes, some have their lovers… I find it quite normal, I guess. But I’m not gonna have one. I don’t know if I’ll ever ask anyone out. I mean, I’m not good at communicating with someone so I’m not good at (something like) that.

High school and college days are meant to be enjoyed, up to the fullest. It is the only time where you’ll gain a lot of fun experiences that may never happen again once you graduated, started working and have a family of your own. In my case, however, there are some things that I never get to experience after all.

I do write stories, but I didn’t even bother to contribute a written work while I had the chance. Back then, some of my written drafts are poorly written, but I think I can make some improvements to these unfinished stories. Well, I never did, owing to having a writer’s block and lack of concentration while writing stories. I also lack imagination too, and I only focus on writing stories with a morbid, dark theme.

All this time, I wanted to keep blaming myself for being an underachiever. I’m not good. I’m not.

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Here are some of the missing moments of my life, the ones I never get to experience.

  • I never joined any contests. I knew that there are some reasons why I don’t join any contests, I was always hesitant about this sort of thing.
  • It’s a shame that we didn’t get to join the prom back when I was in third-year [high school], as it’s just the seniors (fourth-year high school students) who get to enjoy that special night. It’s a shame that I decided to skip that moment too, as a fourth-year high school student, considering that it’s the only time I’ll be able to attend that wonderful event. But that didn’t matter much to me… except I never get to see my friends and their formal outfits.
  • Sleepovers… I’ve never stayed overnight at a friend’s house. I wonder what it feels like to stay at my friend’s house for a night… it’s kind of strange just thinking about it. Well, at least I did spend the night at my friend’s debut party, but that doesn’t count since it was held at a resort and I stayed up late that night (and I have classes the following day).
  • I spent most of the time alone, either I never get to hang out with some of my classmates or I never get along with them. Kind of sad, for they’re the ones who can make wonderful memories with you.
  • Being an average person, I don’t excel in my studies very well. So I never had the chance to hang out with the best people in my class. Even if I did befriend at least one of them, it would be kind of embarrassing on my part. I can’t fit in.
  • I never had the chance to do what my classmates in college suggested me to do: submit a piece of literary work. I don’t know, but it seems that I’m not that good enough. So much for my self-deprecation.

Well, these are some of the missing moments in my life that can only happen once in a lifetime. Pass up a chance and you will never have another chance to do it. Ever.

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To regret or not to regret? That is the question. Missing chances is missing chances, that’s what it is. If you never had a chance to be a part of that once-in-a-lifetime event, chances are you’ll never experience anything like that again, not even in a hundred years. Well, life can be that harsh sometimes, you’ll just have to accept it.

But then, what’s the point of looking back, if these missing moments of your life bring you misery and pain? I know how it feels, and that makes me wish I’ve never passed up that chance. I can’t go back and change everything, that’s for sure. So I’m trying to make the most of my life while I still can.

I hate to recall some of the things that I never experience in my entire life, so I’m doing the best I can in order to catch up. Otherwise, my life is completely over.

i150W: Expectations

We all have our expectations. There’s nothing wrong with it… unless we expect too much for an impossible thing to happen.

We expect a lot of good things in our daily lives. Comfort, convenience, and excellence are some of the things we expect for a better, happy life. This usually applies to products and services, transportation, establishments, infrastructures, and anything that serves the general public.

Of course, we also have certain expectations from a person. Like for example, some parents want to make sure that their children excel in their studies. It’s great that some people are pushing others to do better, as long as they don’t overdo it.

Expectations are part of our lives, but you wouldn’t want to stress yourself or others just because you want something to happen, just exactly the way you want it. After all, you can’t expect everything to be perfect all the time.

The Dangers Of [High] Expectations [E]

We all have expectations in life. Our expectations serve as a basis for a better future, leaning towards perfection. And then there are some things that didn’t meet your expectations and it soon becomes a source of stress and frustration…

Being a perfectionist, I tend to have high expectations in life. Anything that’s below my standards is a big disappointment. Yes, I’m a nice person by nature and I wouldn’t fuss over little things, but I tend to get cranky when things didn’t go my way. I mean, who wouldn’t get mad if things didn’t go exactly as planned?

So much for expecting only the best things in life. What if you are controlled by other people’s expectations?

Your Own Expectations

We all have our expectations in our daily lives. We wanted to experience only the best things in life. But then, you can’t always get what you want. It’s frustrating.

Like for example, I have a lot of expectations. There’s traffic, courtesy, public transportation and internet connection speed. The heavy traffic, lack of courtesy, inefficient public transportation and slow (and crappy) internet connection are some of my biggest annoyances. I know I can’t control my frustration over these matters, but there’s more to it than that. Others had the same expectations as mine.

Over time, your own expectations can lead to rage, frustration, stress, behavioral problem, and anxiety. These can have a great impact on your health and your attitude. Yes, we’re aiming for something better but it’s important not to let your expectations consume you.

Other People’s Expectations (Towards You/A Person)

Isn’t it annoying that there are some people who are pressuring others to do better? Yes, they have high hopes for that person to do well in whatever ability he has. So pathetic. They could just give support to that person instead.

Their expectations (for a person) may vary, but it can always mean pressure for the person being asked. I mean, why are they expecting something from a person as if they were giving that person an ultimatum just to do better? Do these people know that their expectations may have a negative effect on that person?

Parents are the usual suspects to this kind of attitude. It’s as if they’re losing a lot if their kids didn’t make a lot of achievements or get the highest grades in tests. Wake up, you’re pressuring your child too much just to do better. I mean, it’s great that you’re pushing the kid to do well, but overdoing it can lead to fear, stress, and anxiety, as well as developing a sense of perfectionism. Yup, there are some cases wherein some parents enforce strict discipline on their children in order to focus more on their studies. The end result? Some children are pushing themselves too hard in order not to fail and they’re suffering from emotional distress once they fail.

Grown-ups aren’t exempted from this case just so you know. Their superiors have high expectations on their people to do well in their job. Their good performance is what the superiors are after, and the competent people who are performing well are likely to get promoted.

The Dark Side Of Expectations

All right, so there’s a dark side to this expectancy. Do I have to list everything one by one?

Basically, expectations are there for you to do well and to do better. But too much of this can lead to frustration, disappointment, stress, and anxiety that can burn you out. The risks of expecting great things at the time of inconvenience can be disheartening. It’s like expecting a big change for this never-ending problem.

Expectations and perfectionism tend to go together very well. Just imagine if things didn’t go your way, you easily lose your focus and may tend to dwell in the past.^ At times, you tend to quit what you’re doing and that’s kind of disappointing.

And speaking of frustrations and disappointments, many people tend to criticize the inconveniences they experienced in their daily lives and the people behind this. They all have their expectations that these people (particularly those in position) should solve these problems in order to provide convenience for everybody. But since they didn’t do their job properly, there are the endless comments of intense frustration and disappointment at the people in the office. Sounds familiar? Yes, this is what’s happening in my country.

Perhaps, the most common example of this may sound like advertising… but in fact, it’s like an expose of a bad service. Whether it’s a telecommunications company that offers a crappy service at an expensive monthly rate or a terrible service at a so-called 5-star restaurant, these people have the guts to expose everything they experienced and receive sympathy or criticism for it. They all have their expectations.

And perhaps, imposing expectations on someone by means of strict discipline can impact their emotional well being. They’re prone to depression, frustration and self-blame, which only happens when they fail to live up to expectations… for self, and for others. Worse, they are pushed down the brink and their honor is tainted with humiliation that they either live with it or they end it all.

Dealing With Expectations

It’s better not to expect too much in life. Yes, we’re all expecting something better, but of course moving out of inconvenience doesn’t happen immediately. Also, you mustn’t stress yourself with these expectations in life, the one that leads to perfectionism. Remember not to expect too much from a person, and don’t impose your expectations on others in order for them to do better. Don’t be the cause of other people’s anxiety.

Postscript

In the end, whatever we expect in life must not lead to expressing your frustrations and anxiety over such a simple matter. We all have our expectations, but don’t let your expectations consume you.