The Kin Keihan Times, Year X (225th Post Special)

Today marks the Kin Keihan Times‘ tenth year in the cyberspace. Even though the blog ended its run just as it was about to reach its fifth year more than five years ago, it still remains a part of my blogging life for it is the predecessor to The World According To KCOX.

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Back when I started the Kin Keihan Times, I was just starting college. Well, I couldn’t think of what to write for my debut post so I decided to copy and paste the entire About Me section of my Friendster profile. I don’t know if it’s a good idea to copy something from my own Friendster profile or some other websites since that may give the blog’s visitors (mostly friends) the impression that I don’t write original content, but what matters is that I introduced myself.

Of course, I’ve only just started blogging that time so I’m not yet used to this kind of life, but eventually, I was getting the hang of it. I find myself writing a few more posts which features some of my [past] experiences, and later, I started posting literary pieces. Prior to having an internet connection, I usually do the writing at home, then head to the nearest internet café, and upload it to my blog. I don’t usually pay attention to grammatical errors that time, I mean no matter how hard I try to make sure that my posts are easy to read and understand, only a few people will visit my blog anyway.

I initially hosted my blog on Friendster Blogs. It is automatically connected to my Friendster account so I wouldn’t have to worry about reaching out to my immediate audience–my friends. I can always say that I did a good job at maintaining my blog and I somehow connect to my immediate audience, but eventually, I need to reach out and attract a lot of potential audiences aside from my friends. So far, I don’t have any followers and my blog went unnoticed. Back then, I didn’t really care much about it, for as long as I can keep on posting new content whenever I have free time.

I never schedule my posts as I only write and post content when I’m not too busy with school activities. So I ended up posting about 40+ articles within a two-and-a-half year period. That’s okay since I’m not yet a serious blogger and my posts looked somewhat amateurish, with grammatical errors and some inconsistencies. I still need to improve.

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In May 2010, KKT on Blogger was launched, serving as the mirror site for my blog. It’s been around for a few months before I decided to shut it down and moved to WordPress. I then created a secondary blog, the KKT Literary Corner, to handle my literary posts. Of course, the original blog on Friendster Blogs is still operational until the following year. I also launched the blog’s Facebook page by year-end to promote some of my posts and regularly update my followers on some upcoming posts.

In June 2011, Friendster, along with its blogging service, bid farewell. By that time, the KKT had already reached its third year. Since Friendster’s demise, I decided to revamp the KKT’s WordPress site so I can turn it into my primary blog. The original blog’s contents are then transferred to WordPress under the name The Original Kin Keihan Times a.k.a the KKT Archives, which still exists as of June 2018. And in September 2011, the spin-off to the KKT, The World According To KCOX on Tumblr, was launched. This is where I post some updates regarding KKT’s upcoming posts and some important announcements, as well as a whole bunch of comical nonsense.

I then keep on writing new posts and keep searching for ideas for my upcoming posts. It was around this time when I was currently working on the Timeline series. The first eleven posts, which were originally published on the KKT, were eventually reposted to my new blog, TWATKcox.

In the end, I was thinking of shutting down the blog and start a new one. And so, after four years and seven months, the KKT bid farewell and TWATKcox-WP began operations the following day. All of the posts from the main blog, the Literary Corner and its Tumblr spin-off were all moved to the KKT Archives, and its Facebook page was rebranded to its current incarnation as TWATKcox’s Facebook page. Meanwhile, the Tumblr page now serves as TWATKcox-WP’s mirror site. It is where I post updates on my upcoming posts as well as exclusive content.

It’s all over for KKT. May the blog that I worked on since college remain in the hearts and minds of a handful of followers.

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For more than four and a half years, the KKT was a representation of my early career as a blogger and the posts simply become a record of my early experience in blogging/writing articles and literary works. Just reading some of them makes me wonder how come I’ve written that kind of [embarrassing] stuff. But it gives me the feeling of nostalgia too, along with my college memories and some inspiration from a lot of things. I made it this far by means of practice… even though no one ever reads my blog posts.

―from Remembering The Kin Keihan Times (The 125th Post)

Four years and seven months. The posts from all of the blog’s incarnations and its spin-offs are compiled and migrated to the archives. Some of these posts are reposted on TWATKcox, including the Timeline series posts. I have plans to revive the Literaryfest on TWATKcox-Tumblr later this year, while a couple of literary posts will be rewritten and reposted on TWATKcox-WP the following year. Right now, the KKT Archives is no longer maintained but will remain on the blogosphere for the sake of posterity.

The World According To KCOX now serves as my primary blog, featuring mostly my experiences ideas, thoughts, interests, and helpful reminders and tips on various things or situations. I still write and publish some of my literary pieces on this blog, but on a sporadic basis. Some of the posts are written in a similar fashion to my former blog, but with some improvements.

I still visit the KKT Archives every once in a while and read some of my old posts. They’re not that good, but they’re not that bad either. Regardless, they’re part of my blogging history and will always be.


Come to think of it, I’ve already reached my tenth year in the blogging world. It is through my undying determination that I actually made it this far.

Well, it was quite an experience for a dedicated blogger like me despite the countless hurdles I encountered along the way. Ten years is enough to make a nice impression that I blog for such a long time, and I (and my writing) somehow improved through time. For now, I consider blogging as a hobby, but there’s a chance that I might turn this so-called hobby into a profession… someday.

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The Things I’ll Never Experience [E]

I feel a flash of grief so intense it almost makes me cry out: not for what I lost, but for the chances I missed.

Lauren Oliver, Requiem

Dear me, how long do I have to suffer before I can finally move on from all of those missed chances?

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There are a lot of fun things in the past that I never got to experience. Just the good ones. I don’t know if I’m gonna be happy about it or not. And until now, there are some things that I won’t be experiencing after all. I really sounded envious at the thought of it, but I just couldn’t help it.

Well, I always think about it, and I ended up feeling depressed because of that. I’m pretty much a hopeless case, something that they wouldn’t care about. I mean, why would they? If I let them know about this, then they’ll probably laugh at me and say such unpleasant stuff. And then what, crawl in the corner?

To be honest, I was about to move on from all of these missed chances, but they tend to come back from time to time in order to remind me of the things I missed or something I’ll probably miss later on. And it’s not okay.

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Anyway, here are some of the fun things that I’ll never experience:

  • Sleepovers–I suddenly feel awkward at the thought of it, but luckily, I wouldn’t have to do this. I mean, it’s more of a high school/college thing and it would be silly if a group of people over 25 would ever plan a sleepover. Really.
  • Cosplays–This reminds me of the otaku event from last year, and I sometimes wished that I’m one of the participants. Sadly, I won’t be able to do this for two reasons: one, I might be overqualified to join, and two, it can be costly… well, not to mention that I’m not that handsome enough to get noticed.
  • A night on the high school prom–This is something I’ll definitely regret later on. Our school only had a seniors’ prom that time but I chose not to attend, largely due to my annoying fourth-year high school classmates. So whenever I think of missing the seniors’ prom, I feel frustrated. Well, right now, it didn’t matter to me since it’s been more than ten years since it happened, but it’s really worth regretting.
  • A high school romance–It was kind of silly at first, but I thought it was kind of cool in the end. Whatever. I’m not into that sort of thing and there’s no way I’ll ever fall in love. Besides, I’m not that handsome.
  • A night out/outing with friends–Being the loner I was, there’s no way I’ll ever get to experience this.
  • Contribute a piece of literary work–My college classmates suggested that I should contribute one for the student publication, but I never get to do this.
  • Engaging in sports activities–Though I’m a little fascinated with baseball and everything, I’m really not a sports person.
  • An elementary/high school reunion–I don’t think it will be possible for now, at least with my elementary and my first- and third-year high school classmates. Although my fourth-year high school classmates would even think of inviting me over, there’s no way I’ll ever come to that dreaded reunion with these annoying people, period.

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Right now, I hate myself for missing such chances. But there’s nothing I can do… I can never turn back the clock. Even if I try to catch up on the things that I can still enjoy at my current age, it’s not enough to fulfill my [childhood] desires. In other words, there’s no second chance.

Oh, whatever. Just don’t tell me to lighten up and move on since I’m not willing to do it, you inconsiderate jerks.

#Throwback: KCOX, The Writer

I guess you already know who I am. I’m a writer and a blogger… well, not a professional one obviously.

I may have spent a lot of time typing (and writing) various stuff, but right now, my efforts remain amateurish. Maybe it’s because I haven’t been reading a lot of books these days, which should really help in developing my writing skills. Oh well, I often read a lot of stuff on the internet. Isn’t that enough?

So how I do manage to write a lot of [unfinished] drafts with a lot of grammatical errors, poor choice of words, and unusually weird names and plot? Read on.

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It begins with a scanned hentai-like romantic manga series saved on a burned CD, which I discreetly viewed out of curiosity. And that’s how I become interested in writing a story, though I didn’t have much progress and were left unfinished.

Right after finishing high school back in 2007, I started writing stories ranging from love stories to mysteries, and later dark-themed ones. As with my earlier works, it remains unfinished. Imagine that, it’s already more than a decade when I started writing these unfinished works. I guess I really need to do more than just writing stories… I also need to know how to make a better plot for my stories, something I’m not really good at, even up to this day.

One of the stories I worked on is “In The Last 5 Years” which is somewhat based off my sixth-grade and high school life, only everything in that story is a product of my unusual imagination. I made a lot of progress on that story, but somehow I decided it was really pointless to write such an unrealistic story where a sixth-grade student is living alone in a condominium, acting like a teenager with a part-time job. Very unrealistic indeed.

It was about September or October that year when I was really making progress on a dark-themed story entitled “Nightmares” which was eventually rewritten and retitled as “The Madcap” about four or five years later. The story centers around a 14-year-old boy named Radcliff who was kidnapped along with his brother, who later died from multiple injuries, possibly due to the fact that he was tortured by a group of kidnappers. Since then, he hasn’t fully recovered from this distress and in the end, he took his own life. The thought of writing such morbid story is somewhat horrifying for me to proceed, and that one too was abandoned. Again, it was eventually rewritten and retitled as “The Madcap”, with a light ending. It is one of the two novellas I finished so far.

The following year, I was really fired up in writing a few stories, one of them is “The White Ribbon”. I actually read an article talking about depression and suicide, and I came across the fact that the color white represents innocence when young ones depart. I know it’s totally unrelated to what I’m reading, but it was there in the article and that spurred me to write the aforementioned title. The story focuses on the youngest child named Terry who was banished from the house by his own father after an unfortunate incident involving his twin brother. He then transferred to another school but not after he slashed his left wrist, leaving his new friends mystified about what lies behind the black handkerchief. Eventually, he told them the truth and he gained a lot of support from his new friends. However, he was longing for his father’s forgiveness that he was hoping that he would reconsider. But things don’t go as expected and in the end, he (oh dear, not again) took his own life. Another version of the story is that his father was dying and wished to see Terry in order to beg for his forgiveness but he refused to forgive him. His father later died of a broken heart but Terry then decided that he did the right thing and tried to move on. Both of these stories remain unfinished as of this writing, but I’m considering rewriting it one of these days.

Of course, there are a lot more stories I can actually feature in this throwback post, but none of them are as remarkable as the ones mentioned here… well, except for the ones I’m currently working on (and still unfinished as of this writing).

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I may have done a lot of writing. But of course, they’ll end up as unfinished drafts and will always be… unless I decided to either continue them or rewrite them, depending on how I feel about it.

Has it been that long? I know I could do better than these unfinished drafts and stories, but would it be nice if I can actually finish them? I mean, I already finished two novellas but I don’t think they’re any better than the novels that I’ve read many years ago. But then, there’s always room for improvement.

My writing career isn’t over yet. I know I can finish another story in due time. And hopefully, it will end up in Wattpad as soon as I’m done writing it.

#2017: One Remarkable Year [E]

Well, a lot of remarkable things happened this year and for that, I’m extremely pleased. Except for a few stormy moments (mostly personal), everything went well.

Come to think of it, this year is remarkable in its own way. Just imagine how impressed I was with some of the good things that happened this year, especially from March and September.

January

The year begins with a post-New Year’s celebration. Of course, we managed to finish every leftover from the New Year’s Eve feast. I bought a couple of items, such as the digital alarm clock and the black knitted vest.

It was around this time when I finally get to witness the Dragon Dance at Ongpin Street in Binondo, but it was raining that time and I was exhausted from the crowd of people in the area. I decided to make a turn midway through the Dragon Dance, and head to the nearest mall. Before that, I also get to check the historic buildings at Escolta for the second time.

February

I just keep going back to the milk tea shop in Lagro, taking a moment to check the area and enjoy a nice sip of milk tea. Of course, I started wearing the black knitted vest and started experimenting with the string ribbon tie. Nothing special, it’s just that I might want to try it out.

March

I made three purchases this month. First, I bought the black cardigan. Next, I bought the black knitted blazer, but I didn’t wear it until my 27th birthday later that year. And of course, the black fleece coat that serves as a possible replacement for the black woolen coat that I bought a few years ago.

Around this time, I’ve been downloading some anime shows and a lot of music. I’m quite fascinated with a few anime characters, and I’m feeling kind of ecstatic about going out on a mall-hopping trip.

And then there’s a little mishap on the way home from a mall-hopping trip (where I bought another Tokyo Ghoul shirt from a stall in Binondo). First, there was a little accident where a jeepney hit the door of a UV Express I was riding. Apparently, a passenger was getting off that time, but it was a little off the sidewalk. And then a jeepney was passing through, but it just passed between the UV Express and the sidewalk while the door is still open. Result? A little accident. And while waiting for another UV Express, I can’t find my phone. After a few stressful minutes trying to find it, I actually misplaced it inside my bag. And that’s how that stressful moment ends.

And there goes the IV-Chromium gang again, trying to annoy me with some kind of messages through Facebook Messenger. They were planning a reunion that time, and some of them are talking about it. Apparently, they missed me a lot, but I hate them so much (even after ten years) that I was thinking twice about going out on the day of the reunion. Well, I did go out on that day, though I’m not actually planning to meet them anyway. Whatever.

April

April Fools’ Day. So here I was, minding my own business when two of my classmates from IV-Chromium approached me. They asked if I still remember them. Of course, I acted like I didn’t know them and walked away. I checked my Facebook Messenger, and they’re acting sad about it. As if they really cared about me anyway.

So I was really having a great time for the rest of the month. While on a mall-hopping trip to SM Masinag, I actually get to see the newly built piers of the LRT-2 East Extension. The rail tracks and power supply are yet to be installed, and the stations are yet to be built. Looks like we’ll have to wait a couple of years for the extension to be operational, eh?

May

I just happened to see a poster for an upcoming otaku event at the Fairview Terraces. I suddenly become interested in attending the event and even checked the venue for two weeks and checked the mall’s Facebook page. My excitement grew at the thought of it, as this will be the first time I’ll be attending an otaku event.

And there I was, admiring the cosplayers and their amazing costumes. I even had a few pictures with some of them. They’re really awesome. The two-day event is truly a memorable experience for me. I’m looking forward to a similar event, hopefully at the same venue. The event inspired me to start a new series on TWATK-Tumblr called The Keihancarl Diaries, which documents some remarkable things that happened during my trips.

The following week, I went on a mall-hopping trip to Bonifacio Global City (BGC) and McKinley Hill, both in Taguig. But the recent news updates about a terrorist group invading Marawi City suddenly made me feel anxious and as a result, I didn’t get to enjoy the trip too much due to anxiety. Even with the tightened security in Manila and other cities, I still couldn’t help but worry about the possibility of some terrorist groups slipping past the security. We’re praying for our safety and for our beloved soldiers who are fighting to restore peace and order in the affected city.

June

We tried roasting a whole chicken on the turbo broiler… it was okay. Well, the problem is that there’s a problem with the timer dial so we had to closely guard the chicken, like, for more than an hour. It turned out dry in the end, but we managed to enjoy the meal.

I visited Manila again after a few months. While running to catch the LRT-1 to Baclaran, I had an allergy attack and I felt very uncomfortable throughout the train ride. Later that afternoon, I enjoyed walking along the streets of Ongpin, and just witnessed an incident near the LRT Carriedo Station. And since it was raining that afternoon, I skipped Baywalk and head straight to Robinsons Place Manila to have an early dinner before heading home. That time, my former blog The Kin Keihan Times had just celebrated its ninth year in the cyberspace, though the site itself is now an archive of posts from all of my old blog sites, including TWATKcox-Tumblr’s early posts.

July

I published the two-part School Days article, which tells much about my elementary and high school life, as well as the importance of education.

On my next mall-hopping trip to Ortigas Center-Kapitolyo area, I visited Estancia Mall and the newly-opened Ayala Malls The 30th for the first time. Heading to SM Megamall, I saw some cosplayers and otaku fans gather outside the mall’s Trade Hall. There was actually an otaku event, but I didn’t have time to check it out since I still need to visit a few more malls in the area, as well as Greenhills Shopping Center.

August

I visited the newly-opened Vertis North Mall, another addition to the two malls at North Avenue. Also, I checked out some interesting shops at Vertis North Mall and SM North EDSA.

The following week, I visited Eastwood and Tiendesitas for the first time in a few years, as well as SM City East Ortigas. I also bought my first pair of red socks at a Mumuso branch in Vertis North Mall before heading home.

I also published a throwback post about revisiting Lagro in 2014 for the first time in three years (seven years after the high school graduation in 2007). I celebrated that occasion at a milk tea shop near my high school and posted a note on the shop’s cork board. Later, I had a funny moment when I happened to see a scary looking doll inside a steel cabinet at HMR Fairview Terraces. All I did was picture the doll inside the steel cabinet, and even took a video of me opening the cabinet to reveal the scary looking doll inside, which I uploaded to my Instagram account.

September

I visited Rockwell Center and Century City for the first time in nearly three years, as well as Circuit Makati. Just the usual mall-hopping trip with lots of pictures and some selfies. Later that afternoon, I head to Binondo and saw a wonderful collection of anime figures at the Manga Mania Exhibit (Asian Festival) in Lucky Chinatown Mall.

Around this time, I suddenly become fascinated with Twitter and I’m starting to get the hang of it. Even though I already had a Twitter account since 2010, I never actually used it much except for promoting my blog posts (TWATK-WP and TWATK-Tumblr) and I rarely changed my profile and cover photos. All of a sudden, my Twitter account experienced a revival of all sorts as I started following certain accounts as well as tweeting (and retweeting) posts. This is where you’ll hear me rant about various things, as I don’t feel like doing it on Facebook anymore. Also, I feel more comfortable expressing myself in here than Facebook, to be honest.

I get to visit another event, the Manila International Book Fair at the SMX Convention Center. I actually had to fall in line for about thirty minutes before I finally got inside. There were a lot of people at the event, and there are some interesting booths… though I didn’t buy anything, except for a couple of Mogu Mogu bottles which I consumed outside the premises. I then passed by S’Maison, a two-level luxury mall just below Conrad Manila, as well as SM Mall Of Asia. I get to see the mall’s expansion, though they’re partly open at the moment. The expansion is still a work in progress. After that, I head to Landmark Trinoma to buy some ingredients for a cheesecake.

The next day, I made a no-bake cheesecake, though the result was far from what I expected. It was like an ice cream cake that needs to be refrigerated in order to set. My next attempt is just the same as the first one.

Then came the unexpected sad news. My sister-in-law’s father was killed in an unexpected accident in Sangandaan. He was riding his mountain bike on the way to his destination when a ten-wheeler truck struck him. Although he encountered an accident last year involving another mountain bike and both cyclists ended up getting injured, this one took his life. He was a dedicated cyclist and a loving father to my sister-in-law’s family, as well as to his son-in-law (my brother). I met him a few times and he’s really a nice person. I immediately offer a condolence to my sister-in-law before dinner for her loss. Right now, the case against the truck driver is still ongoing as of this writing. I immediately suffered a momentary depression that I don’t feel like writing and blogging for a while. I resumed blogging and writing a few days after his burial.

October

This month, we’re having a double celebration: my brother and sister-in-law’s first wedding anniversary, and my 27th birthday.

I was planning on celebrating my 27th birthday with a mall-hopping trip in the south (Alabang-Las Piñas area). But before that, I treat myself to a blueberry cheesecake and winter melon milk tea at a dessert place in Lagro. And since my birthday coincided with my brother and sister-in-law’s wedding anniversary, the sumptuous dinner serves as a celebration for two occasions. They bought a cake and a tub of ice cream for my birthday two days later. I managed to finish most of the food in the next few days, except for a few pieces of the sushi roll which was already spoiled just as I was close to finishing them all.

And there’s the second part of the birthday celebration, a mall-hopping trip in the south. That was the time I finally got to wear the black knitted blazer that I bought six months ago. Also, I bought a couple of zipper ties, but I don’t feel like wearing any of them for some reason. I ended up wearing just the olive-yellow collared shirt with the blazer. The trip went okay, but the sudden allergic reaction after running to catch the PNR train and the traffic in Alabang (and later, Commonwealth Avenue, Fairview area) and the rainfall nearly ruined it. Also, the planned concept didn’t go well. The only consolation for this trip is the red and gray socks I bought from a Mumuso branch in Ayala Malls South Park, and the light traffic along Alabang-Zapote Road (Las Piñas section) and CAVITEx.

The month ends in yet another problem. The desktop PC’s motherboard finally gave up after more than eight years. The PC is running slower than usual and it really needs an upgrade. For a while, I’m using my sister-in-law’s laptop, but I’m pretty anxious about retrieving the list of upcoming post titles, which is saved as a sticky note courtesy of a now-defunct freeware ATNotes. I know it is saved on a file, but there’s a possibility that I might no longer retrieve the sticky notes saved on my desktop.

November

It was raining these past few days and I’m starting to feel depressed. I’m already suffering from a case of anxiety due to a lot of reasons (mostly due to the PC’s dead motherboard and the inability to retrieve the upcoming post titles and their schedules), and the gloomy stormy weather makes it even worse. I don’t know what to do, I’m starting to lose focus on my upcoming blog posts. I took a day off from blogging to lure myself out of depression.

I head out on another mall-hopping trip, and I come up with a brilliant idea for my outfit. I finally get to incorporate the black zipper tie to my outfit, which consists of my old orange button shirt, black fleece coat, and a black sun visor. I actually looked good on it so I decided on that outfit. And it yielded a lot of good looking selfies. Anyway, I managed to squeeze a lot of malls within a 12-hour trip, and so far everything went well… until the MRT Ayala Station situation makes it difficult for me to head home. I was forced to take a detour, and it took me long enough just to get home.

The new PC arrived, and it’s running Windows 10. For a while, I’m pretty overwhelmed by its features, and it took me a few weeks in order to get used to it. The old hard drive containing the old OS (Windows 8) is connected to the new motherboard, and we tried to run the old OS. It booted successfully, albeit with a few problems, mostly with the PC’s drivers. And that’s how I eventually managed to retrieve the list of upcoming post titles, along with the rest of the sticky notes and some others. The partition containing the old OS is eventually formatted and is distributed to the remaining partitions on the old hard drive.

The only disappointment though is that the DVD-writer cannot be installed due to lack of SATA slots. So that means I’m going to use my sister-in-law’s laptop in order to retrieve some data from my backup DVDs, as well as burning some important and not-so-important junk into numerous DVDs for the time being in order to save space.

I was thinking of installing ATNotes on the new PC but decided not to and installed Keynote instead. Yup, that freeware I downloaded a long time ago finally got some use as a replacement for ATNotes, which I relied on for a few years. I wouldn’t have to worry about losing the list of upcoming post titles and their schedules again, at least I know where they are saved.

December

I’m off to another mall-hopping trip, focusing on the malls located along LRT-2, plus the mall along Katipunan Avenue. Due to the construction of the LRT-2 extension in the area (Pasig-Cainta-Masinag), I’m stuck in heavy traffic going to SM Masinag and I ended up getting stressed and anxious throughout the trip. I’m planning to skip SM Masinag on my next trip in the area until the LRT-2 extension is finished.

I was planning to relax at the milk tea and coffee place in Lagro, but I did some shopping as well. I actually chose the second Saturday of this month to go out because I was feeling kind of motivated that time, not to mention that My Awesome Classmate’s birthday celebration is taking place on that day. The chance of running into him is pretty low, but if that happens, I can always say “Hi” to him. Anyway, I had a vanilla frappe at the milk tea and coffee place, and I continued writing the story that I started months ago. I then head to the Fairview malls to continue my shopping.

And for the last mall-hopping trip for this year, I chose Manila as my itinerary with a little side trip to the newly-opened Cloverleaf Mall and, supposedly, a mall in Valenzuela. The latter was scrapped due to time constraints and the possible heavy traffic in the area. En route to my first destination, the heavy traffic in Novaliches area is stressing me out, and I spent a couple of hours getting stuck in traffic. Later on, I have to deal with a busy crowd in Divisoria and Binondo. Aside from the mall in Valenzuela, I also skipped a couple of places due to light rain. Reaching Robinsons Place Manila, I’m amazed at the Christmas display featuring a group of children singing Christmas carols. I really enjoyed taking a lot of selfies on the Christmas display, and that totally cheered me up.

For Christmas Eve, I made some cheesecake topped with cashews and crushed graham crackers and a cream cheese carbonara with ham and mushrooms. For New Year’s Eve, we only had spaghetti, French fries, and fried chicken, as well as a plain graham cheesecake. We did celebrate Christmas and New Year with my family and relatives with a simple feast.

Conclusion

The year 2017 is not much like I expected, but it’s pretty remarkable in its own way. I mean, I still had a lot of fun. I visited a couple of events, as well as a lot of malls. I bought a lot of new clothes and some accessories,  posted a lot of pictures on my Instagram account, published a lot of posts on my blog sites, and revived my Twitter account after a long inactivity and started following a lot of accounts (mainly otaku related accounts). And of course, some stormy moments too.

Well, I guess that’s the way it is, you really can’t replicate a previously good year with this one. On a brighter side, however, it was an interesting year for me and a prolific year for my blog sites. I’m looking forward to a better and a brighter 2018 ahead.

The Writer With An Attitude (175th Post Special) [E]

For TWATKcox’s 175th post, it’s all about the unusual attitude of a weirdo named Keihancarl Oikou Xiaucham as a writer-blogger. In case you didn’t know who Keihancarl is, then try to figure out yourself. Yes, that would be me, the one who’s solely responsible for writing articles and stories, as well as maintaining this blog you’re reading right now.


My name is Keihancarl Oikou Xiaucham, the writer with an attitude. A writer who hates to be interrupted while writing a series of posts. A perfectionist with a certain dislike for anything below my standards. A fashionable guy who loves red, black, and gray. Makes sense, right?

As a writer, I’m mostly drawn to dark themed stories, dealing with angst, violence, personal grudge, depression… anything that can evoke a reader’s mind. But of course, I don’t limit myself to writing such stories. I can write comedy if I have to. But I’m not the kind of person who loves cracking jokes, so don’t expect.

Anyway, I’ve been covering light and [slightly] emotional topics since I started blogging. In the last few years, I also published a few explicit posts, as well as identifying myself as the writer with an attitude. So it’s time to live up to that.

Yes, I’m being nice. But I can be critical and straightforward. depending on a situation. I can call you a bunch of names, I can even write all about the evil things I did to a person or a group of people… indirectly, of course, as I don’t want to get sued for defamation. Freedom of speech has its limitations, in case you didn’t know.

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In order to gather ideas, I need to get out of the house and endure a tiring afternoon of walking and visiting various places… mostly malls, famous landmarks, and small cafés near my high school. I can get lots of ideas from seeing people, checking some of the books at a second-hand bookstore, going to an event, and a few interesting sights around the city. Experience is the most important factor in writing a post… and I don’t mean writing experiences. Keep that in mind.

Of course, I have my smartphone with me, mainly for Facebook and Instagram, and some picture taking. At times, I write down my ideas and possible snippets for an article or story I was writing, but I didn’t utilize it’s potential… despite being a smartphone user for more than three years. Yes, I treat my smartphone as my portable PC, but I don’t do blog writing with it. You know how some telcos are making profits with their crappy service and slow internet connection, right?

At home, I translate these thoughts into writing. But most of the time, these thoughts came to nothing, and I end up with a lot of drafts and snippets which don’t end up as a complete article or a story. They’re stored on my PC for a long period of time and are rarely opened and read. That’s the beauty of a writer’s block, isn’t it?

Normally, I only do most of my writing work during afternoons and late nights (sometimes extending up to the wee hours of the morning). Dark-themed stories and articles are always done in the wee hours of the morning since that’s the only time I can concentrate without any interruptions, but I still can’t write anything since I’m currently working on a PC right behind the TV cabinet and across the dining area. Since it’s an open space, there’s no privacy so I can’t assume that there’ll be no interruption while I’m working.

I hate seeing people lurking behind my back and making unnecessary comments while I’m working. These people are the main reason why I tend to lose concentration in the article/story being written and end up procrastinating. Mark my words, if ever I become famous, I might throw the keyboard at them to shut them up and go away. Of course, writing stories and articles is like creating an artwork. I had to make sure that I’m in a cheerful mood when I’m writing something, especially dark-themed stories and articles. Otherwise, I’ll lose concentration and may lead to procrastination.

You certainly knew how long it takes for me to finish a single article? These take a minimum of 12 hours to a few days, sometimes weeks, or may take a few months. Maybe a year. As of this writing, I somehow manage to finish a lot of articles within a month or two. But sometimes, I resort to writing really short ones (up to a maximum of 150 words). These articles are categorized as the i150W series, short for In 150 Words, which I consider as a series of filler posts in case I don’t have a finished article ready to be published at a certain date. Yup, I schedule my posts so I don’t have to publish two articles within a 24-hour period.

I am a frustrated writer with a writer’s block. I can’t even concentrate on what I’m doing due to a variety unnecessary interruptions. Whatever. I’ll just keep up this attitude of mine until I accomplish a lot of things.

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My life, as a writer and a blogger… Right now, I’m enjoying what I’m doing, provided that I don’t get interrupted in the middle of writing an article or a story. That I don’t get distracted by checking my Facebook or Instagram, or some websites about something that piqued my curiosity. And of course, I don’t need to be told about some random nonsense. In short, don’t disturb me while I’m writing.

I don’t know if there are writers who are annoyed by such disturbances while writing their literary masterpieces. But I’m pretty sure that they’re not the kind of people who would delay their work if they’re not in the mood since they’re likely to get pressured by their publishers. Oh well, if I become one, then I’ll need to practice restraint. Besides, being a writer requires a great deal of discipline, and that includes refinement of your behavior. Whatever. I’ll do what I can to finish a story I’m working on.

 

School Days: My Thoughts About School And The Importance Of Education

How I Feel About School

To be honest, I was lucky that I get to finish school and had a brief stint at a call center company in Makati, in addition to the on-the-job training in college at a government office and a state-owned TV station. But of course, I can always recall the ups and downs of my student life.

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Back when I was a kid, going to school every day sure is a struggle, especially when you have to wake up early to a cold, sunny morning. My breakfast is ready, my uniform is ready… but in my mind, I’m not ready for another boring school day. I am like that whenever I don’t feel like going to school. But of course, there are times when I feel like I’m gonna cry if I miss school. I even recall that moment back when I was in third grade when I was actually begging my mom to let me go to school even though there is a typhoon and classes are suspended. Sometimes, I just don’t understand myself.

To be honest, school is actually a great place to learn and make friends. Yeah, why am I even thinking of ditching the thought of going to school when there is fun in learning? Also, I get to have a lot of fun with my classmates too, at least for the first three years in elementary. And I can’t wait for my favorite part of a school day, recess. Well, there’s no playground in my school, that’s the sad part. But still, we get to have fun by chasing one another or draw a lot of things in sheets of paper.

Come fourth grade, and everything changed. I’m beginning to see the dark side of friendship and the thought of rejection is making me feel depressed. I was being left out, and it’s kind of sad. Even the brief fame I got for representing our class in Mr. and Mrs. [name of school] didn’t help. I can’t even focus on my studies. I know I wasn’t doing very well at school since I’m preoccupied with my depressing thoughts.

And then there’s bullying. At first, the kind of bullying I experienced back in sixth grade (at a private school) was just a bunch of insults. Reaching high school, upon transferring to a public school, the kind of bullying I experienced is more than just a bunch of insults, but that also includes [slight] physical abuse. I feel endangered at the thought of being surrounded by a bunch of bad guys, at times I got hit in the head by means of a bully’s fist. Bullying remains a big problem in most schools, private or public. I know it’s a guidance counselor’s job to reprimand a bully for their actions, but only if the victims or the witnesses are willing to report the incident. In my experience, however, I only got to do this once.

When the school year ends, it spells relief for us as we’re off to a lengthy school break that coincides with the warm and sunny weather. As we look forward to another school year, we get to enjoy ourselves with spending the summer vacation at the beach or at home. School graduation, however, is a ceremony filled with lots of memories and proud moments.

I always thought of elementary graduation as insignificant, as it is just a simple ceremony to signify the transition to high school. Yes, your classmates from elementary may still be your classmates in high school. But it’s not the same for high school graduation, as this is the last time that you and your classmates will be together. Afterwards, you guys will go on separate ways. To be honest, I don’t feel emotional in all these school graduations after all.

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So what did I learn in the first ten (pre-K-12) years of my student life?

  • Studying hard is okay, but you don’t always have to devote all your time to studying. It’s the same thing for your hobbies, make sure that these don’t interfere with your studies. Oh well, it’s a matter of a work-play balance, it’s just that I don’t always do this.
  • Responsibility is done through doing your homework, projects, and reports, as well as studying your lessons at home not just in preparation for your quizzes or tests. Yup, I failed in this one, so that explains why I become an underachiever.
  • Being lazy with your studies leads to failure in quizzes and exams. Since I tend to procrastinate at times, this is where I lead. But then, I did well in some subjects, such as English and TLE-Computer. As for the rest, I only managed to pass. But at least I didn’t fail in any of the subjects, so much for my procrastination.
  • Academics aside, maintaining good relationships with your classmates bring you closer to them. I think I made a lot of friends but in the end, only your closest friends matter. No matter how terrible they are, if they’re being nice to you in the end, then you shouldn’t strain ties with them by means of a retaliation. But in my case, this is something I don’t follow as I had just severed ties with my fourth-year high school classmates, despite the fact that some of them are actually being nice to me.
  • Never let anybody bring you down. Yes, bullying is pretty common in schools, but this shouldn’t be the sole reason for you to quit school. Remember to keep your head up and ignore those who taunt you. Yup, this is also a lesson for myself too…

The Importance Of Education

School is a great place for learning a lot of things and making friends. It can help shape the children’s minds and lead them to a brighter future. But there are some children who never had a chance to go to school and experience formal education, so be grateful to your parents for this wonderful opportunity.

We all go to school not just to learn how to read and write, but to have a better and brighter future. Although we learn from our textbooks, it is actually through paying attention to the teacher’s lectures and participating in class activities that we actually learn a lot of stuff. And it gives you the chance to ask questions.

While you enjoy the privilege of going to school by means of riding various kinds of transportation or a school service, others have to walk a great deal of distance to school, even if it takes them a few hours just to get there one way. In rural areas, the path going to school involves crossing a river, passing by an overgrown forest in the mountains, and at times passing through slippery, grassy slopes and/or rocks along the way. You had your allowance given by your parents, originally intended for snacks and other important expenses, some of which went to gaming expenses. Others go to school with little or no allowance at all, some of them had to endure a long school day without food, and some of them have to dig through the trash for some recyclables or experience a great deal of labor just for their school allowance. And while you look forward to a brand new set of school uniform, a new pair of shoes, a new bag, and a new set of school supplies, others had to make do with their old school uniform (usually hand me downs), an old pair of shoes, incomplete set of school supplies, and sometimes plastic bags for storing their things. But it’s not through material things or comfort that a student can succeed in their studies, it’s through hard work.

Sometimes, money played a huge role in the child’s schooling. Just imagine how much would a tuition fee in a prestigious [private] school cost… and yet the child would end up begging for material things instead of studying hard. Besides, what your child learns in a private school is virtually the same as in a public school. Perhaps, a plus factor for studying in a private school is that they were able to provide some necessary equipment needed (such as laboratory apparatus for science activities, or musical instruments for music lessons), something that some public schools may lack. Still, private schools give an impression that they cater to those who can afford.

Some of the students are forced to stop schooling due to a variety of reasons, mostly related to poverty. It’s understandable that they’re striving to help their families by means of labor, but if they didn’t finish their studies, then they’re going to have a hard time finding a decent job and support themselves.

But there are some students who managed to finish studies, despite the hardships they’re facing. Even though they wanted to stop schooling just to help their parents, they were urged by their families to finish studies as this is their key to success. There are notable success stories by people who managed to finish their studies despite the hardships caused by poverty, this should serve as an inspiration to many. Remember, poverty should not be a reason to skip or stop studying.

In the end, it doesn’t whether you came from a private or a public school, for as long as you passed with flying colors. What we learned in school can still be applied to certain things in our daily lives, such as a simple computation or a simple experiment. And yes, education is not limited to a certain age group, for as long as you have the will to study and fulfill your dreams of becoming a successful person and living a better life.

All right, so why is education important for everyone? The answer is simple, it is where we learn a lot of information, and it is essentially vital for better employment and a better future. We all have our dreams in life, and we can achieve it through studying. The knowledge we gained from our studies can aid us in achieving our goals in life, and not just our occupational field of interest. Again, there’s no age limit when it comes to education so everybody will be given a chance to fulfill their dreams and become a successful being.

Postscript

School memories… they keep coming back to me. Despite the fact that I’m an underachiever, there are great memories that are worth looking back.

Yes, we may never bring back the past, but we can always remember the good and bad things we experienced at school. The people you meet and befriended, the events and experiences that matter, all the hardships that every student endured… and the sweet moment of achievement. Isn’t it nice to remember these kinds of school memories?

Of course, I learn a lot of things, both academically and non-academically. Being a student is all about knowledge and experience, and garnering enough achievements to make it all meaningful. Well, you can say that my student life isn’t meaningful at all but that doesn’t mean that I’m not good at anything. At least I still passed all my subjects and I graduated, but that was that. Still, I enjoy the moment of being inside the campus listening to the teacher’s lectures, roaming the halls during breaks, and spending time with some of my friends… off-campus. And the moment of meeting your awesome classmates as well.

Now that it’s all over, I guess it’s time to move on. It was really fun, despite some unpleasant moments that happened to me during that period.

 

School Days: Achievements, Activities, Moments, And Experiences

Note: There are some additions to this post, all of which happened back in elementary. The newly-added parts are highlighted.


Twenty years ago, in 1997, I started elementary school. Around that time, I was kind of rowdy and mischievous, and I find that experience hilarious. It’s as if we’re still in a kindergarten class, but we’re on our way to serious learning. The next few years turn out to be a turning point as I was starting to behave properly, but it was during fourth grade when I start experiencing rejections from my peers.

So this two-part article covers my experiences in elementary and high school, as well as my thoughts about going to school, and the importance of education. I’m sure some of these experiences are covered in previous posts, but this is the compiled version of my student life.

Elementary

Elementary. That’s the time when the more difficult math problems (like the three/four digit problem solving and fractions) become my biggest headache. Math is one of my two weakest subjects in school, the other one being science. Meanwhile, I enjoy literary and language based subjects the best.

As a first grade student, I tend to get into trouble just like any other kid in class. I tend to get noisy during class and I rarely do my homework. I did get into trouble for crawling under my female classmates’ skirts, and it was kind of perverted. I had no idea what made me do it.

The most hilarious thing I did that time was mimicking a school teacher (with my classmates as students) on a toothpaste commercial that was airing on TV that time. Yes, it was a teacher asking kindergartners asking what is the color of the teacher’s sweater, and the color of her teeth (if I recall correctly). Of course, one of my teachers doesn’t seem to be amused by what I did and we rushed back to our seats as soon as she comes in. It was kind of funny.

I also remember that time when I actually begged my Filipino teacher to let me join my classmates for the Linggo Ng Wika presentation, partly because my best friend is among my classmates who are selected to represent our class. Of course, she let me join my classmates for the presentation. Later that year, I was Mr. Israel for the United Nation Day, although my costume looked like an Arab’s. Yup, it’s the same for the following year’s United Nation Day at our school.

In second grade, we had our field demonstration. It’s basically a bunch of dance steps with simple props (such as a ring and a stick) and a dance music track.

During third grade, we did another field demo for the UN Day at our school, and this time our class will represent Mexico, with the song “Livin’ La Vida Loca” by Puerto Rican singer Ricky Martin. It was raining that time, but of course, the show must go on.

On the first half of elementary, I managed to take home some awards. These include the award for being “Most Friendly” (first grade), “Best in Reading” (second grade), and “3rd Honor[able Mention]” (third grade). By the way, there’s the Top 5 (or the cream of the crop) at the end of each school quarter to honor the students with excellent grades.

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Fourth grade comes, and we finally have our Home Economics and Livelihood Education classes. This is where we learn how to sew, cook, and work in the school garden. I had a hard time with the sewing activity, but I managed to do it. With some assistance, that is. Also, that’s the time where we get to have Computer class, focusing on BASIC programming. You know, the PRINT “Hi!” = Hi! thing.

For that year’s Linggo Ng Wika, we are grouped according to what region (in the country) where we came from. We represent our group by dressing up in our specific traditional (and religious) costumes, as well as to make an introduction in our dialect. For our group, two of us are in religious costumes, the two others are in traditional costumes.

During that time, there’s a lyre band lesson, with the help of a lyre band instructor (I think). Most of our classmates had bought their lyre bands, but I was unable to have one since my family couldn’t afford it. I was eventually assigned to playing the snare drum, with some my classmates playing other instruments as well. That continued until the following school year (with our music teacher in fifth grade as an instructor). There’s a speech lesson as well, courtesy of our friendly speech instructor. We had a lot of fun with our speech lessons, which is one of the few good moments during my fourth grade.

In November that year, I wrote an essay about computers for the Computer Month. I won third place for that.

And guess what, I was chosen as a candidate (along with the female transfer student, who became my best friend until the end of that school year) to represent our class for Mr. & Ms. [name of school], as part of the school’s Foundation Day. To be honest, I was quite uncomfortable being selected to represent our class, but I went on with it… only I didn’t tell my parents about it until the school trip. There’s the competition for formal wear, casual wear and sportswear, and of course the talent portion. On the presentation of the candidates, however, my female partner didn’t show up since she wasn’t feeling well. The winners are determined by the number of tickets sold, and I didn’t mind winning the title at all. Regardless, I become popular with my female classmates for a while, and that was that.

It was during that time when my classmates started ignoring me and they didn’t let me join in their games. So I’m stuck with two of my classmates, and I don’t know if they’re really fun to be with. But one thing is for sure, it was a depressing school year for me.

Fifth grade comes, and I feel weirder and weirder each day. I’m starting to become a misfit, but at least I made some new friends, the ones from the main campus. Yes, I’m from the satellite campus (along with some of my classmates), but the satellite campus can only accommodate classes up to fourth grade so we were transferred to the main campus the moment we finished fourth grade. Anyway, we are a large class comprising two sections, the main campus’ section A and satellite campus’ section B. Of course, not all of them are friendly to me in the end.

Our school is also competing in the Palarong Pinoy, held at the Nayong Pilipino in Pasay City. I’m competing in Sungka’s mixed junior division, but I never made it to the finals.

January the following year, our school had the annual Intramurals. The intermediate students and the high school students are the ones participating in the school’s yearly sports fest, and we are divided into four groups, namely the green team, red team, yellow team, and blue team. I belong to the green team, and I’m on the team’s cheering squad. I was immensely bored throughout the event, and I can’t recall if our team had [actually] won anything.

Sixth grade comes and it gets even more interesting. At least, since I met a cool guy wearing glasses and I started enjoying watching anime shows and playing games on the newly-bought surplus PC. About the guy, he was actually not in my class yet we somehow managed to hang out on occasion. He was a very nice person.

For that year’s Linggo Ng Wika, we are to re-enact the scenes from the 1986 People Power Revolution, as well as perform the patriotic theme song “Magkaisa”. I play the role of a cameraman, with a video camera made of styrofoam. We did well in our presentation, I think.

And there’s an entire class recital of Prince Hamlet’s famous soliloquy, “To Be, Or Not To Be”. Yup, it is part of our speech class, with our friendly speech instructor from a few years back. Aside from that, some of us have to produce our own voice recording of the poem “Little Bo Beep”, with proper pronunciation. I didn’t get to do this anyway so I’m fine with listening to some of their voice recordings, some with a hilarious twist.

We have our Christmas-themed presentation/competition, where we perform Christmas songs as a group. It’s a school inter-class competition, but I don’t really recall much of it. I don’t feel like joining the class in the performance since I’m not in the mood to do this. Well, at least I’m not the only one who’s not performing with the rest of the class anyway.

It’s the school’s Intramurals once again. Previously, all games are held inside the school’s parking (that doubles as the playground and basketball/volleyball court) and the school quadrangle. However, for this year’s Intramurals, some of the games had to transfer to the basketball court inside the private subdivision, a walking distance from the school’s satellite campus. Anyway, I’m now on the yellow team, and they’re asking me to compete in the sports event. I give in, and I’ll compete in Sungka for the second time. I won the competition, but then it will take a while before the sports event ends. I didn’t bother to go watch the other sports events, which took place on my favorite day, Saturday.

So here comes the graduation, but I have mixed feelings about it. First of all, it’s my female classmates who keep telling me that I will never graduate and that I don’t deserve the “Loyalty Award” for staying at school for six years. Of course, I got mad but I couldn’t control my emotions too.

Six years at [name of school]… it’s a mix of fun, remarkable, and lonely moments of being an elementary student. Without a proper farewell, I decided to move on and move to a public school the following school year. I doubt I’m gonna miss my soon-to-be former classmates (and I don’t think they’ll miss me anyway).

High School

High school life sure is fun, but I didn’t get to enjoy every part of it.

Well, I’ve had enough of my troubled past in my former school, maybe this will change by the time I transfer to another school, the one where my brother finished high school. Besides, I had a feeling that I’m gonna meet a lot of nice people in my new school, some of them become my closest friends.

So I’m a high school freshman who is still acting like an elementary student? It’s a challenging transition, but that’s something I can live with. To begin with, my new school is in Lagro, Quezon City, about more or less 8 kilometers (calculated using Google Maps) from my house. And since I’m no longer in private school, I think it’s a good idea for me to experience how to commute, having used to being taken to and from school on a tricycle as a school service (though I did it with my classmate a few times back in elementary). I still find it scary to cross the street (thanks to the overspeeding vehicles on the highway), but at least it’s safe to cross the street near my school.

And here comes algebra, biology, geometry, chemistry, trigonometry, physics, economics, Asian and world history, and technology and livelihood education (TLE). In addition, we also study four notable literary works from Filipino authors: Ibong Adarna, Francisco Baltazar’s Florante At Laura, and Jose Rizal’s Noli Me Tangere and El Filibusterismo, as well as watching their stage play adaptations at the UP Theater.

We were introduced to different school clubs, but I don’t know if any of us are really interested in joining one. There’s the math club, the English club, the science club… all of the school clubs are dedicated to a particular school subject.

The school cafeteria is impressive and had wider choices than my former school. At the time, the cafeteria implemented the chit system wherein I had to fall in line just to exchange my cash for the plastic stub of equivalent value so I can buy something in the cafeteria. It was eventually scrapped more than a year later, replaced by cash register specifically for cafeteria meals.  During the first few weeks, I bought some chocolates and candies at the cafeteria and ate it inside the classroom during breaks. Of course, some of my classmates ask for a portion of a chocolate bar when they saw me eating one. In addition to the cafeteria, there’s also the co-op store where we bought pieces of pad paper, ball pens, notebooks… even our PE uniform, workbooks, and other knick knacks.

And yeah, I started wearing my glasses a few weeks before I start high school, so they thought that I was a genius. One of my teachers refers to me affectionately as Boy Genius. But at least I’m not alone since one of my female classmates also wear glasses as well.

During this time, I was actively copying what is written on the board, but at times I had a hard time catching up since I tend to make some mistakes and my hands are tired from all the writing. Also, some of the activities, particularly the ones on the TLE class, proved to be challenging as I need to make a lampshade, a letter holder (something I managed to finish myself), a gel candle (probably the easiest one to make myself), and a few others.

During my first year in high school, we only have our classes three whole days a week, from 6:30 AM to 5:30 PM, with flag ceremonies held on Mondays. That changed during my second year in high school and with a new school principal and some changes, classes are now divided into two shifts. So it’s five half-days a week instead of the three whole days a week classes, which is quite a relief for some of us. For the rest of my high school years, I’m always placed in the afternoon classes.

I also recall back in first-year when I had to buy a recorder flute for our music class. It was an ivory Hohner recorder flute, which I really liked, yet I’m not good at playing that kind of instrument. It was an effort trying to play a few notes, what more for an entire piece of music? At times, we’re practicing a few songs our MAPEH teacher taught us. In the end, the flute was stored in the study table for a long time and I rarely played that thing.

I used to bring packed lunch during my freshman year but since it’s gonna be a half-day the following school year, I decided to eat lunch at home and just ask for the same allowance as last year. At least, 20 percent of my allowance goes to transportation, the rest goes to various expenses from snacks to school supplies. Of course, my allowance is larger than some of my classmates, and I don’t spend it all on snacks alone. Sometimes, I need to save some for myself.

I didn’t get to attend the school’s founding anniversary during my freshman year. It was during my sophomore year that I get to attend and have fun in the annual event, and I always look forward to it until my senior year. Around this time, I also attended some notable events, such as the “Pasikat Ni Sir At Mam” and a couple of stage plays inside the covered court.

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It’s sophomore year and I’m in the afternoon class. But since some of my friends are in the morning classes, I ended up going home by myself. Well, I’m getting used to it since I’m starting to feel like a loner again, aside from being excluded by my seatmates. In addition to that, I experienced bullying from my two classmates, and I was extorted money by another. My sophomore year is sort of okay, but not really that okay.

The following school year (junior year), I’m having a great time with some of my classmates. I was elected as the president of the Handicrafts class (one of TLE’s electives) and I’m doing well in Geometry. I started hanging out with some of my friends again, and I was bending the rules a bit by wearing rubber shoes instead of my black shoes.

And here comes senior year, where I’m about to experience a great deal of trouble. At first, my classmates are very nice but that changed in the next few months. They tend to annoy me a lot of times and did something terrible to me. That aside, I was often nominated as a class officer for each of the subjects, some of which I did become a class officer. I’m not comfortable with being nominated, but… there’s nothing I can do about it. They’re being nice to me that time so I can’t tell them that.

I’m in the Computer class as part of the elective, it’s all about the internet with some MS Office activities in between. We are to create our own website as a project, and we made a video slideshow using our baby pictures (transferred to the computer by means of a scanner). Well, in our class, we (IV-Chromium) were down to just four as some of our classmates had transferred to other electives due to the monthly fee. I made friends with some of the students from IV-Gold and the lone student from IV-Lead.

We had our National Achievement Test, as well as our National Career Assessment Examination during our senior year. I think I did well in these tests. Regarding the National Career Assessment Examination, I think that helped me figure out my occupational field of interest… that is, the artistic field (or simply the arts).

There are a few more events I never attended. First is the Christmas party, the other one is the senior prom. I don’t care if I didn’t attend the Christmas party and have fun with some of my annoying classmates, but I don’t know if I feel the same with not attending the Prom. Something tells me that I should have attended the latter, but I didn’t. Not only I didn’t get to see my friends and classmates in their formal attire, but I’m missing a part of my life as well. Oh, but that didn’t matter now.

And here comes the emotional high school graduation ceremony. As usual (and just like any other high school graduations), students use this as a chance to spend the last hours of their high school life with picture taking, sharing stories of their high school memories, and wishing each other luck in their chosen field of interest. While some of my classmates are teary eyed by this memorable high school graduation, I didn’t feel emotional about it. Why some of them are hugging me and wishing me luck, I don’t know. They are planning a post-graduation outing and they’re inviting me, but I declined.

For some reason, I never got my high school yearbook and I didn’t bother to get my class picture. It’s unlikely that I’ll ever ask for a soft copy of the class picture, as I already severed ties with most of them.

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High school officially ends, and I decided to take a year off from studying before heading for college as an English major student. And after ten years of finishing primary and secondary education, I only had very little achievements and I managed to pass my grades. Of course, I feel disappointed and guilty with myself for failing to keep up with my studies and I never got to my dream university, but that doesn’t matter now. Anyway, there’s the second part of this article featuring my thoughts about school and the importance of education.

The Missing Moments Of My Life

I had a feeling that there are some things worth regretting for.

Looking back, I never had a chance to hang out with some of my so-called friends… in fact, they never let me join them in their fun activities. So that’s the reason why I’m having a hard time making friends and I’m no longer comfortable hanging out with anybody. I simply prefer to remain a loner for I grew up being like that. But then, I’m starting to worry about being a loner for the rest of my life.

I never experienced having a crush on someone, and until now I never had an interest in girls. I always thought that romantic relationships are for young adults, but it’s usually prevalent during high school and college. Some of my classmates have their crushes, some have their lovers… I find it quite normal, I guess. But I’m not gonna have one. I don’t know if I’ll ever ask anyone out. I mean, I’m not good at communicating with someone so I’m not good at (something like) that.

High school and college days are meant to be enjoyed, up to the fullest. It is the only time where you’ll gain a lot of fun experiences that may never happen again once you graduated, started working and have a family of your own. In my case, however, there are some things that I never get to experience after all.

I do write stories, but I didn’t even bother to contribute a written work while I had the chance. Back then, some of my written drafts are poorly written, but I think I can make some improvements to these unfinished stories. Well, I never did, owing to having a writer’s block and lack of concentration while writing stories. I also lack imagination too, and I only focus on writing stories with a morbid, dark theme.

All this time, I wanted to keep blaming myself for being an underachiever. I’m not good. I’m not.

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Here are some of the missing moments of my life, the ones I never get to experience.

  • I never joined any contests. I knew that there are some reasons why I don’t join any contests, I was always hesitant about this sort of thing.
  • It’s a shame that we didn’t get to join the prom back when I was in third-year [high school], as it’s just the seniors (fourth-year high school students) who get to enjoy that special night. It’s a shame that I decided to skip that moment too, as a fourth-year high school student, considering that it’s the only time I’ll be able to attend that wonderful event. But that didn’t matter much to me… except I never get to see my friends and their formal outfits.
  • Sleepovers… I’ve never stayed overnight at a friend’s house. I wonder what it feels like to stay at my friend’s house for a night… it’s kind of strange just thinking about it. Well, at least I did spend the night at my friend’s debut party, but that doesn’t count since it was held at a resort and I stayed up late that night (and I have classes the following day).
  • I spent most of the time alone, either I never get to hang out with some of my classmates or I never get along with them. Kind of sad, for they’re the ones who can make wonderful memories with you.
  • Being an average person, I don’t excel in my studies very well. So I never had the chance to hang out with the best people in my class. Even if I did befriend at least one of them, it would be kind of embarrassing on my part. I can’t fit in.
  • I never had the chance to do what my classmates in college suggested me to do: submit a piece of literary work. I don’t know, but it seems that I’m not that good enough. So much for my self-deprecation.

Well, these are some of the missing moments in my life that can only happen once in a lifetime. Pass up a chance and you will never have another chance to do it. Ever.

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To regret or not to regret? That is the question. Missing chances is missing chances, that’s what it is. If you never had a chance to be a part of that once-in-a-lifetime event, chances are you’ll never experience anything like that again, not even in a hundred years. Well, life can be that harsh sometimes, you’ll just have to accept it.

But then, what’s the point of looking back, if these missing moments of your life bring you misery and pain? I know how it feels, and that makes me wish I’ve never passed up that chance. I can’t go back and change everything, that’s for sure. So I’m trying to make the most of my life while I still can.

I hate to recall some of the things that I never experience in my entire life, so I’m doing the best I can in order to catch up. Otherwise, my life is completely over.

The Year 2005: One Remarkable Year (The 150th Post Special)

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150th post, coming up! Along with the arrival of the year 2017, there comes my assumption that this year will be similar to the year 2005. Why is that? And what makes the year 2005 a special year… for me?

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January

Nothing special yet for this month, probably except for some post-holiday feels. I truly missed this kind of holiday, with all the holiday feast and everything. And yes, the TV ads made specifically for Christmas. Oh well, I’m expecting the worst thing in my student life… getting bullied. Something worth forgetting, I suppose.

February

Oh well, I feel like riding my bicycle and spending an entire afternoon with my feet on the pedals. That’s a perfect way to engage me in a workout, right? But it’s kind of unfortunate that I have to spend two weeks at home because of chicken pox. How awful.

Regarding the latter, well… I did spend an afternoon at school feeling sick, but I can still move around without trembling or wobbling my way back to my seat. Going home, I lose my balance and stumbled on the ground, but I managed to get up and made it back home safely… only to discover that I had that dreaded disease. That surely added to the worst chapter of my student life.

My high school teachers are having a presentation and some of us watched the show. I enjoyed the performance by the English teachers. The rest of the performances are equally good as well.

March

Hello, warm and sunny weather… Cheers to the most wonderful time ever! I was thinking of playing that RPG game, but I hold off the thought as I’m kind of stressed complying with the requirements for the clearance. Sometimes, my classmates wouldn’t cease to annoy me, and I did push one of my classmates to the asphalted ground. I thought he might retaliate (since he got a bleeding arm and he looked a little mad), but he just wiped his arm on my shirt and that was that. Lucky for me, I had a change of clothes. I did just that and moved on. And lucky for me (again) that he never did retaliate in spite of what happened yesterday.

Around this time, I started going to the nearby mall by myself, something I couldn’t do on my own without the feeling of intimidation and getting lost. It’s basically due to an errand, but at times I wanted to go there so I can spend some of my saved allowance on such novelty items, like notebooks, art materials, and other useless stuff. So much for shopping by myself at such a young age…

A prelude for the much-awaited summer break: my uncle and his family and relatives are having an outing. I was invited, and I gladly join them since I wanted to spend a hot day at the pool. And that’s what I exactly did, swimming under the scorching heat of the sun. My mom was surprised that I got a little darker, possibly due to sunburn.

April

Here it is, the summer vacation… the one I’ve been looking forward to! There goes the usual habit of watching anime and Asian dramas on TV, playing video games (especially RPGs) while listening to various audio CDs and riding my bike on the street. It’s an entire summer break filled with lots of fun and excitement but in a less extreme way. Still, I really enjoy my summer vacation a lot, thanks to the great sunny weather.

Our desktop PC (a.k.a. the Pentium 1 PC) had a problem, and we need to backup some of the files on the hard drive. My brother has to go to his classmate in college who’s exceptionally good at computers just to reinstall the operating system into the hard drive, as well as to back up the content. It was on the same day that there’s a prediction of a possible earthquake, which came from an SMS message. I was then planning to go to the mall just to buy some back issues of a PC magazine. I did just that, and right after I got home, my mom and I went somewhere. I don’t know if it’s a miracle or anything, but there was no [reported] earthquake that afternoon. A big sigh of relief for me, even though the prediction itself appears to be a hoax. Still, we must prepare for something unpredictable and unexpected, such as an earthquake.

I don’t know if this happened around April or May, but we visited the La Mesa Eco Park. I brought my bike with me, and I spent the afternoon pedaling on the oval track, which gives a great view of the Orchidarium. It was quite a picnic, we even had a whole chicken just for the three of us.

May

And my summer vacation continued with playing RPGs while listening to a mix of classic and recent songs on the PC’s CD player. And then there’s the fascination with an anime (Naruto) and an Asian drama (Meteor Garden)… a fairly good reason to watch TV, I suppose.

Near the end of the summer vacation, I did help my mom and my relatives clear the vacant lot and fence the area. At first, I thought I might be getting in the way since I’m not used to holding such dangerous objects such as the itak (bolo knife) or the rake. Months later, I’m pretty used to such intensive labor, but at times I opted to stay at home and play games on my PC. It was such a good experience, even though my hands felt sore from handling and using the tools for too long. On our way home, however, the AUV had a battery problem and that’s not a good thing. My brother and I were told to head home, leaving the rest behind. Upon reaching home, I asked a neighbor for help and went back, only to face another problem since it was raining hard that night and the owner type jeep stalled on a flooded road. I then decided to head home feeling wet and cold. They finally reached home as soon as I finished taking a shower.

My summer ended with a shocking and sad news. My brother’s classmate and best friend took his own life and we were saddened by his death. My brother was informed of the news through text, and later that night, my mom and my brother visited his funeral. A few weeks prior, he came for a visit, and my brother noticed that something’s not right. Even I kind of noticed it as well, but I was busy taking care of my three toddler cousins so I didn’t know exactly what they talked about and what happened after that. It is nearly twelve years since his death and until now, I still recall that shocking day. That made me rethink about threatening to kill myself whenever my classmates did something terrible to me. Whatever happens, I hope he’s doing fine up in the blue yonder.

June

School starts, and I’m excited to meet my new classmates, as well as our class advisor. There’s also a reunion with a couple of my classmates from freshman year, and some of my teachers from my freshman and sophomore years become my teachers for this school year. It’s unfortunate that my classes are still in the afternoons, just like last year. So there goes the habit of watching afternoon anime shows…

There’s a big advantage for being in the afternoon class: my annoying classmate from my sophomore year is in the morning classes, as well as his so-called accomplice. But my awesome classmate from freshman and sophomore year is also in the morning classes as well, so that made me think of him even more. Don’t get me wrong on this one, it’s the friendship that counts… sort of.

Some of the BFFs had their classes in the afternoons as well, so they ask me to join them on the way home after every class. I’m really looking forward to going home with some of the BFFs, considering that it’s kind of boring going home by myself.

For our Technological and Livelihood Education, we have to choose an elective, namely Computer Education, Handicrafts, Dressmaking and Simple Accounting. I decided on Handicrafts as my chosen elective. I was even made the president of this school year’s officers for the said elective. An interesting note about this elective is that it is supposed to be an all-boys elective (as was Dressmaking for girls), yet there are a few girls who also signed up for the elective as well. They were eventually transferred to the other electives. There were also some boys (who originally chosen Computer Education as their elective) joining Handicrafts as well since they couldn’t afford the monthly computer fees.

July

Things are going pretty well until the surprise announcement about our new Math teacher. For the first few weeks of the school year, it was a middle-aged male teacher who’s in charge for this subject. He then made the announcement and upon mentioning that it’s a young female teacher in her mid-20’s (I assume) who’ll be taking over, our excitement grew. And she was a nice teacher as well. Too bad that I’m often late for the first period, which happens to be my least favorite subject (and my favorite for this school year), Math. This school year’s Math (Geometry) happens to be an exception, as I suddenly had an interest in Geometry and this is the only time I’m getting higher grades on this subject.

August

Things get pretty normal for this time of the year. I seem to have an interest in Chemistry as well, though not as much as Geometry. Still, I manage to keep up with my studies and I seem to be having fun.

Remember the machine that changed my life? Well, there’s another one coming and it’s slightly powerful than the one we’re currently using. A decade old PC, running Pentium Pro, serves as an alternative to the slower PC (Pentium 1) we bought a few years ago. Eventually, the Pentium 1 PC was sold and we keep on using the recently arrived PC that my uncle donated to us.

As the month comes to a close, we are looking forward to our annual school’s founding anniversary on the first day of September. Now, on to the next part…

September

Two events happened in a single day. Of course, there’s the school’s founding anniversary and my cousins’ birthdays.

That morning, we had our school’s founding anniversary with a parade, a program, and lots of booths from marriage booth to jail booth… in fact, my annoying classmate from sophomore even tried to have me arrested (yup, that makes the jail booth even more fun) but I outsmarted him. In the end, he failed. Also, I run into my awesome classmate and we had a small chat. And yes, I did hang out with the BFFs before heading home. That afternoon, we celebrated my cousins’ birthdays, and it was a lot of fun too.

The following day, I was listening to the compilation of tracks from my cousin’s CD while playing an RPG game on the desktop PC. A mix of love songs and current hits, the playlist is quite okay. As for the love songs, I have some favorites though some of them are hard rock.

Later that month, there’s another PC coming aside from the Pentium Pro PC. Yes, it’s a laptop computer that’s twice as fast as the aforementioned PC and it’s perfect for gaming… sort of. Anyways, I assumed ownership of the laptop, and I’m more excited to personalize everything on this laptop. I installed some programs and games, as well as setting up the laptop’s wallpaper and sounds. The Pentium Pro PC was ignored for the time being, but…

October

There are times that the laptop would simply not open, even without its battery (and plugged into the outlet, just like a desktop PC). I knew that there might be a problem with my laptop, but it’s still functioning. I did get that thing powered and running perfectly fine… for now.

We had our school tour early this month, and we visited a few places. Strange that it was held on a Sunday, so some places on the itinerary are closed. Well, starting the trip, there’s the Baywalk (where we had a nice view of the Manila Bay even though it’s morning), then the Libingan Ng Mga Bayani (we only toured the area inside the bus), and Rizal’s house in Calamba, Laguna (which is closed on Sundays, unfortunately, but I’ve been there countless of times in my previous school tours). The last two itineraries are leisure oriented… there’s hiking at UP Los Baños Botanical Garden, and swimming at a resort somewhere in Laguna.

It was on the way home that I accidentally had my pocket radio tuned into a smooth jazz station, Joey 92.3 (it’s actually 923 Joey by the time I first tuned in that station) and listened to it during the entire trip along South Luzon Expressway (SLEX). Afterwards, for the next few days, I keep tuning in that station until I got hooked on the smooth sound that I’ve become an avid listener for almost two years. Most of the songs played in that station become my favorites, and the favorite songs are eventually downloaded and are now stored and played on my PC and my music player.

And then the worst thing happened… the laptop finally gave up on me. Well, it happened due to an improper shutdown and the hard drive needs to be scanned. Unfortunately, the hard drive’s got lots of bad sectors in it, and right after the scan the laptop simply failed to boot. Is it the hard drive, or is it the laptop’s motherboard? Either way, that’s just too bad. So it’s back to the Pentium Pro PC, and it finally got some attention again after a few weeks of being unused.

October (Semestral Break)

The last week of October means a semestral break for us students. But without the laptop, how am I gonna enjoy the almost two-week long vacation? Also, it was raining hard that time so I can’t even ride my bike outside. I don’t have a choice but to stay home and either watch TV or play games on the Pentium Pro PC.

The scent of coconut incense makes this rainy October memorable. Now, I’m gonna content myself with watching Naruto, flicking through my PC magazines, and playing Super Mario Kart on the desktop PC while waiting for the classes to resume. Anyway, from a previous post, here’s a description of that [memorable] semestral break:

October 2005. Rainfall, coconut incense, Naruto, Super Mario Kart, and the coffee commercial featuring the song “Let’s Stay Together” by Al Green. I was feeling disappointed that time since I couldn’t use the laptop to play Golden Sun (through a GBA emulator) and do anything random, so I content myself with the slower desktop PC just to play games… it was kind of ridiculous and immature how I reacted to that possibility. And there are some cheap collectible cards, the ones featuring Gon and Killua (of Hunter x Hunter). Then there’s the sudden urge to watch anime on TV, Naruto in particular. And there’s an upcoming channel on test broadcast, plus some upcoming Korean drama series on prime time.

November

It’s back to reality, but there’s no stopping the excitement as there’s an upcoming new channel to watch out for. And some great Korean dramas and anime shows.

I know I can be restless sometimes, it just can’t be helped. I tend to roam around the school halls like it is a park or something. And since I was trying to look cool just like everybody, I tend to bend the rules a bit. Yup, wearing sneakers with my school uniform is not allowed, but a lot of students do this, so…

November is English month, and some of my classmates (as a group) are among the participants representing our class in the interpretative dance, as part of the program. The song “Reflections” by Christina Aguilera was the chosen song for this performance. I’m not one of the performers, but we’re proud of our representative’s achievements… I don’t know if our class won the competition. The thing is, our class advisor, who is our beloved English teacher, is the one hosting the said competition and there’s a little controversy involved. But we proved them how good my classmates performed by repeating the performance in front of our P.E. teacher, and she was impressed with the performance.

You know how I tend to be careless sometimes. Well, I accidentally dropped my glasses to the floor so one of the lenses is broken. And there comes an even bigger problem–both the lens of my glasses ARE broken. How am I suppose to get home without wearing my glasses? More importantly, will I be able to see clearly without it? Luckily, my parents had my old pair of glasses repaired so I no longer need to worry about it.

December

And then December comes in.

For the last few months, I simply opted to stay at home instead of helping out with such intensive labor since I had a hard time with digging the hard soil and cutting the grass. But some of my cousins are helping out, so I decided to join in. Well, it’s fun to be out of the house sometimes, on a weekend where the desktop PC is my companion.

I don’t recall when we first installed this game. But it was around this time when I’m starting to enjoy playing this card game on PC. Yup, it’s Yu-Gi-Oh! Power Of Chaos: Yugi The Destiny. I think it’s the coolest PC game I ever played. And then there’s Joey The Passion and Kaiba The Revenge. This completes the Power Of Chaos games series installed on the desktop PC, and I tend to spend more time on these games hoping to win some powerful monster cards, or useful trap and spell cards.

Another terrible thing happened… someone tried to steal something from my bag. Since I padlocked my backpack to deter those kleptomaniacs who would try to get their hands on my valuables, the unidentified suspect sure had another way to do it… by means of using a scissor. I didn’t immediately report this incident, but my mom found out anyway, so she’s off to the school to see my class advisor. To make the long story short, my classmate (who probably took the blame, since no one wanted to confess to the incident) apologized to me. He eventually revealed who did the scissor thing, and to be honest I don’t want to confront the actual person who’s behind this.

I was starting to have a little fun as the BFFs and I decided to go to the mall after class. I just happen to see something interesting in a bazaar just outside the mall, so I bought it immediately. There were other interesting items as well, but I’m not into shopping just yet. Besides, I don’t have much money.

It’s Christmas party, and I was wearing all red. Before that, I was thinking of a perfect Christmas gift to my female classmate… and all of a sudden, one of my classmates was giving me a wonderful item, more of an ornament. I decided to take the offer and bought the item and decided on a pretty paper bag as a gift wrap. Problem solved. Now, back to the Christmas party, my female classmate was delighted to receive such a nice gift. I did receive a teapot (the plastic one with a strainer, more like a coffee pot due to its appearance) as a Christmas gift by another classmate. Until now, the said teapot remains unused and the strainer shows signs of rust. It’s been sitting in the cupboard for many years before it was taken out.

After the Christmas party, I meet with the BFFs and we all head to the mall and have some fun. I decided to stay at the mall a little longer after some of my friends headed for home. Reaching the house past 8:00 PM, the wind was blowing hard but there’s no rain. I guess it’s pretty normal during the cold season.

It’s Christmas season and we celebrate it with a feast. My mom, my cousin and I head to the supermarket to buy food for our Noche Buena (Christmas Eve) and Media Noche (New Year’s Eve), and then we celebrated the Christmas and New Year’s Eves at our cousin’s place, along with some of our relatives. What makes it even more special, is when we celebrate the holidays with a great amount of happiness.

Post-2005

It’s the year 2006, and it’s time to cherish every single good thing that happened. As I was staring at the cleared area (where the makeshift classrooms and the garden used to be), I was wondering… what happened in the past twelve months? Am I having a great time?

There are a lot of things happened past this point. Of course, there are only a few months left before another summer break. There’s discovering my artistic talent, and a few more anime shows to enjoy. Of course, there’s my pocket radio and the smooth jazz station I listen to on that school trip.

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Well, here’s the summary of my life twelve years ago:

  • For a fourteen-year-old student [going fifteen] like me, it’s just a typical life dominated by studies, video games, music, anime… and a little bonding/hanging out with friends.
  • Since I don’t have a cell phone that time (wishing I have one back then), there’s no texting… and mobile photography. Well, I’m not into text messaging anyway, so I’ll leave that one out.
  • I don’t even have a Friendster account as well, so there’s no online experience.
  • I may not have the fastest PC that time, but I had lots of fun with some of the RPG games and the PC game Yu-Gi-Oh! Power Of Chaos series.
  • I’m not into pop and rock music, and I’m lured into listening to smooth jazz and easy listening music with a touch of smooth foreign language (Brazilian and French) songs.
  • My growing interest in anime has become apparent since I’m fascinated with Sasuke of Naruto and Yugi of Yu-Gi-Oh!, as well as Keitaro Urashima of Love Hina and Rumina Asagi of Tokyo Underground. Oh, how I miss those days!
  • Math suddenly becomes an interesting subject for me, and Geometry is much easier than Algebra and Trigonometry. It is the only time I’m getting high grades with this subject.
  • There’s still bullying, but not as much as the rest of my high school years. There’s also a few unpleasant incidents (such as the scissor thing), but at least I didn’t see that annoying classmate from my sophomore year.
  • I get to meet some of the new BFFs, and we always wait around after school to have fun or to have a small chat before going home. We would take a short jeepney ride up to the mall, and then we head home on our own.

For me, I find the year 2005 to be the most remarkable year due to a lot of fun experiences. I happen to be in such a great mood for most of the year, and for a lot of reasons. So, will I be able to replicate it this year? Hopefully. I predicted that this year will be the same as the year 2005 so I’ve yet to see if I can make this year remarkable too.

High School: A Memory Recall

They keep saying that high school life is the most memorable time of your life, but I don’t think mine is as memorable as the others. For me, it’s just plain ordinary. I feel like a commoner, easily forgotten and not fondly remembered.

Looking back, I didn’t care much about how fun or boring my life is. Most of the time, I only spend time with myself. I may have a lot of [so-called] friends, but to me, they’re temporary.

I don’t know why I feel like saying this. It’s just a mix of insecurity and angst that I experienced from time to time. Perhaps, there is something worth regretting. There’s something wrong with me. There are some remarkable moments in high school life I never get to experience. Unfortunately, there’s no going back.

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A quick summary of my high school life: My freshman year is okay, at least I’ve got some company. I even introduced a couple of my classmates to the circle, which later become the BFF. My sophomore year is not that okay, but at least I still got some company… including one of my friendliest classmates from the previous year. My junior year is much better compared to the previous [sophomore] year, and I’m always in absolute delight. And my senior year? It’s hell in disguise.

All right, here are some moments and the usual things that happened during my high school days and I believed a few of these aren’t disclosed in the first Timeline series. What are these?

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Making Friends

I know that making friends is easy, but hard to maintain by the time a school year ends or you all graduate from high school. I admit I have a lot of friends in high school, but I have no contact with them after the high school graduation… even online. Although they occasionally send a message online asking how are you doing and exchange news about your lives, it’s still not enough.

Despite making lots of [so-called] friends, I still ended up trudging the school corridors by myself or sitting on the desk alone. I’m fine with it, in case you asked.

More Than Just Friends?

High school romance is quite common during my time, yet I’m not into that kind of relationships. Heck, I don’t even have the idea what it is like having a crush on someone. Some people would tell me how unusual I was for not having a crush, but do I really care about that?

During my freshman year in high school, there’s a charming female classmate who is quite attractive and friendly. Whenever I see her, she would smile at me. Even though she’s not my crush (she then had a boyfriend, who would become my classmate the following school year), my classmates would think otherwise. She transferred to another school in the middle of the school year but we added each other on Friendster. So much for a brief moment of being enticed by her charm.

Interests

We all have our own preferences, but there are some of them who share the same interest. Some of my classmates are into online gaming, rock music, hangouts, and, to a lesser extent, drinking. Peer pressure is the main reason why high school students are getting drawn to that sort of thing.

Yeah, my classmates are into online gaming such as Ragnarok, DOTA (Defense Of The Ancients) and so on, and they listen to various kinds of pop and rock music. I’m not into these kinds of things, hence I’m different from the rest of the class. But at least, some of us share an interest in anime, yet we don’t talk about it too much.

I’m No Better Than Anyone

I didn’t join any contests, competitions, performances, and clubs (were there any?) and I rarely join my classmates in group projects. Aside from that, I’m not doing well in academic studies, and I always feel bored during class. (I’ll set this aside in my future post).

Why am I not doing well in my high school life? I bet some of you know the answer. It’s partly because of my annoying classmates. Though I’m not supposed to be affected by their no-good way of bullying, I was always affected by it and I couldn’t think straight afterwards. Another reason for that is the lack of motivation to study. I know my attention span is the culprit behind my academic struggle, but I never bother to do something in order to combat my laziness in class.

I don’t know how to improve. My classmates aren’t that supportive either.

Learning Beyond The Basics

In high school, there’s algebra, geometry, chemistry, biology, world history, and economics. In addition, we also study some of the Philippine literature: Ibong Adarna, Florante At Laura, and Rizal’s novels Noli Me Tangere and El Filibusterismo.

I admit I’m not good in science and math so I’m at a greater disadvantage here. Except for geometry, that is. I’m not good at handling laboratory equipment, but I believe I can do scientific experiments just fine. I had a hard time solving trigonometric problems. Oh well, I managed to pass despite such difficulties.

The Things I Miss, I Never Experience, And May Never Happen Again

One of the highlights of being a junior/senior year high school student is the Junior-Senior Prom. It is a major event among junior and senior high school students, and it happens around February or March. It’s a semi-formal dance where the guys wear black or white formal wear (with ties/bow ties and vests) and the girls wear evening gowns.^ Sounds like a fancy event, but I opted not to attend. And so, this is a moment I never experienced. I had a mixed feeling about making that decision though.

The school grounds… the surrounding internet cafes filled with students playing online games… the awesome people you meet in class… the occasional conversations with the BFFs and all of that… I surely do miss my high school days. But the fact that you are still troubled by a lot of annoyances and misery upon leaving high school makes it all unworthy of a remembrance.

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Let me repeat this one: I feel like a commoner, easily forgotten and not fondly remembered.

So much for remembering my high school life after witnessing the students in gowns and formal wear waiting outside the school before the Junior-Senior Prom six months ago. But then, it matters that I recall a few good (and bad) memories, just for the sake of remembrance. It’s a part of me, after all.